


Show Me How to be Whole Again

by zeenanigans1983



Category: Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Pining, Romance, Smut, dad!Sebastian Stan, introspective, parenting, reader - Freeform, real person fiction - Freeform, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21557524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeenanigans1983/pseuds/zeenanigans1983
Summary: Y/N has harbored feelings for Sebastian for years and she still hasn't told him how she felt even after spending one night together. He feels the same but ignores it.A life changing consequence of that one night brings them back together years after. Will she finally cave in? Or will her pride hold her back?
Relationships: Chris Evans & Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans & Sebastian Stan & Reader, Chris Evans (Actor) & Original Female Character(s), Sebastian Stan/Original Female Character(s), Sebastian Stan/Reader, Sebastian Stan/You
Comments: 25
Kudos: 150





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I made another thing! This will be a multi-part story, probably no longer than 8 to 10 chapters. I know the plot's been done millions of times but I couldn't stop the flow when I started writing it! I'm pretty happy with it so far, and I hope y'all will be too!

_hey, y/n, sorry, last minute change in the flight plan, chris won't be able to join you, lisa just called about a family emergency, he apologized for not being able to tell you personally..he'll see you in three days_

My brows furrowed in confusion which then morphed into anger. I was Chris Evans' fucking personal assistant! How could I not know about a family emergency?!

I tried calling the person who sent the text, Darlene his manager, but all I got is her voice mail. Tried calling Chris himself, same. Now I'm pissed.

The Civil War press tour has just begun and we were flying to Singapore to do the first leg of it in Asia. I was to fly with Chris and Sebastian in a private jet. Sebastian's assistant was down with a bad case of the flu and so I volunteered to cover for her until we were back Stateside. Sebastian was pretty easy to work with, having known him for as long as Chris did. 

And that's where I knew my problems would begin.

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad as I'm dreading it would be. I'd stay on one end of the jet and pretend Seb isn't there. For about 18 hours. OH SHIT.

I mentally willed myself not to think about it for the time being and focused on the errands for Chris that needed to be taken care of for today. I'll definitely try calling him again later.

  
"You look like shit."

I screamed like a banshee upon hearing and seeing Chris sitting comfortably in my kitchen counter eating what looked to be the last half pint of Ben&Jerry's I have.

"FUCKING HELL CHRISTOPHER ROBERT YOU WANNA KILL ME?!" I kept the same shrill tone, albeit unintentionally. I was holding on to my chest and slowly slid my hand down to my side before setting my bag on one of the bar stools and snatching the small tub from my employer. "How the fuck did you get in anyway?"

Chris attempts to protest but changes his mind. "You gave me a key, remember?" I groan at this and remember that one night I did give him a copy of the key to my house in case of an emergency.

"Oh god," I groaned. "What is the emergency?"

He jumps off and re-claims the tub back from me but frowns when he sees it empty. He sets it on the marble counter like a petulant child and I respond to him with a smirk.

"You..."

"Oh shut it Evans, you better tell me why you're letting me travel with Sebastian. Alone."

It was his turn to give me a superiorly smug smirk.

"There is no family emergency is there?"

"Nope," he responded, elongating the O and popping the P for emphasis. I wanted to strangle him. I sometimes hate how he knows me so well.

"Y/N, you're my best friend. Hell, you're like a sister to me. My mom and dad practically adopted you the day after we buried your parents...I mean, this isn't an actual emergency, but I just--" 

"Chris," I say a little tiredly. "I love you for worrying about me and for feeling like you have to intervene, but Sebastian will never see me that way." I sigh and jump off the stool to walk over the kitchen cabinet and pull out a bottle of wine. I pour myself a glass and re-situate myself on the stool. Chris just stands on the opposite side looking at me concernedly.

"But what if he does?"

I shake my head sadly. "You've been telling me that for five years and look where we are."

And it's true. If what Chris has been telling me all this time about Seb potentially feeling the same way is true, then why do I still feel like he only sees me as a friend? I've long stopped believing I have a chance with him, it's better for my own sanity and my heart that way. If friend Seb is the best I'm gonna get, I'll take it than have nothing at all.

Sebastian and I first met through Chris, of course, during their first screen test as Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes in late 2009 but I have secretly been a fan of his when I first saw The Covenant a few years back. I was practically a mute when Chris finally introduced us but I got over it pretty quickly by joining him and Chris for a celebratory night out after their first day of shooting in London. It was Sebastian who insisted I come despite my protests. Chris was supportive...of him, which of course left me with no choice. I thought nothing of it but I couldn't stop my heart from racing at the thought of Seb wanting to see me after hours, granted Chris was there, but still. 

It didn't take long for my silly crush to force itself back to the surface, especially since I'd been spending so much time with Seb with the Cap movies every few years. In the interim as well, Chris would let me tag along whenever he's in New York and that meant seeing Seb too. 

It was after a dinner that Chris realized how I felt for his friend.

"You know what? I feel so stupid for not seeing it," he says all of a sudden once we got back to our shared hotel room.

Thinking nothing of what was to come next I just replied, "See what?"

"You have a thing for Sebastian."

I almost dropped the bottle of water I just opened, thankful I was standing by a table it just landed back with a tiny thud. My hands were shaking when I pulled away.

"H-h-how did you--" I stammered. I really thought I had a good handle on my feelings for him but again, being best friends with Chris fucking Evans was not working for me at the moment. 

"Really, Y/N? Oh sweetie.." Chris starts off with a tone of disbelief before softening up upon seeing me shaking. He comes up to my side and wraps me in a hug. It was one of the few things in the world that can calm me down. 

"Don't tell him please," I mumble worriedly. He chuckles and holds me tighter.

"No I won't, because you will."

I pace slowly around the living room of the LA apartment Chris and I shared, nerves building as each minute passes until the town car arrives with Sebastian in it. No matter how I begged Chris to reconsider joining us, he was firm on letting me have this chance to have alone time with the object of my affection and build the courage to tell him how I feel. He insisted that the last five years have been taking its toll on me emotionally already.

My phone buzzes in my hand, I almost drop it. I swipe to open the text and see it's Seb, letting me know he's on his way up. I smooth my dress and pull my luggage close to the door before taking one last sweep of the apartment and my carry on.

The doorbell rings five minutes later. I take a deep breath and open it despite my nerves.

Sebastian is standing there with a shy smile, his eyes fractionally widening a little upon seeing me. I return his grin, hoping my nervousness isn't obvious. 

"Uhm, hey Y/N," he finally says before stepping closer and enveloping me in a hug. It lingers for a few seconds before he pulls away. A flicker of emotion flits in his eyes before I can decipher it. 

"It's so good to see you," I say right after we break off and it comes out surprisingly breathier than I expected. I step aside to let him in. He takes a look at the place before settling on my luggage.

"Did you redecorate?" he asks as he trains his blue-grey eyes at me. 

I suddenly feel self conscious but I nod. "It tends to get boring in here when Chris is away," I chuckle a bit and he smiles in response. 

"Well it looks really good. You ready to go?" 

I nod and I start pulling on my huge suitcase but Seb grabs my hand. A jolt of electricity sparks through me at the contact and as our eyes connect, I knew he felt it too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One private jet...what could happen?
> 
> Ah yes, smut. Smut happens!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! Thanks for the love!

2  
We reach LAX in no time, thanks to traffic being unbelievably light apart from the fact that our place was just about half an hour away. 

After the initial awkwardness at the apartment, Seb and I managed to keep an easygoing conversation on the way to the airport. I almost forgot we would virtually be alone once we get on that damned plane. 

We were so engrossed with catching up, the driver had to call our attention twice to let us know we were at the drop off already. A loud whoosh of a plane passing by jolts me back and I could feel the onset of a panic attack coming up. The irony right? I have a fear of flying and yet here I am working for someone who's always travelling by plane.

I secretly try to calm my breathing, hoping Seb doesn't notice. I know how he hates flying too and I wouldn't want to add up to his own troubles. I manage to do this until the flight attendant does her final checks. 

"Hi Miss, Y/L/N, we'll be taking off in fifteen minutes, is there anything else I can assist you with?" 

I squint a little to see her name plate before looking up at her. "I, um, I'm good, Leighanne, thanks."

She steps aside as Seb arrives and Leighanne gives us final instructions before she leaves and does her own pre-flight necessaries. It is when she's gone that I start shaking and I could hear every single sound around me. I could make out Seb saying something to me but he sounds like he's a good twenty feet away even if I could just lean forward and reach him.

"Y/N? Y/N? Sweetheart, can you hear me?"

His face swims in and out of my vision and the next thing I see is him unbuckling from his seat and taking the one beside me. Leighanne comes back with a paper bag, handing it to Seb before he puts it over my mouth, asking me to breathe into it. 

"That's it, babe, you're okay, you're okay...slow but steady, that's it, I got you...," he repeats this, his voice soothing and gentle over my ear while the tips of his fingers run gingerly up and down my back. I latch on to his voice while focusing on steadying my breathing once again. The minutes that passed felt like hours until I could clearly hear Sebastian once again. 

"There she is," he says with relief as soon as he sees the color back on my face. "Do you need anything? Water?" 

I nod slowly, prompting him to get up and fetch a bottle for me within seconds. I take it with a grateful small smile before chugging down the contents in one gulp. 

"Thank you," I say, my voice hoarse. "I'm sorry you had to worry about me. I'm the PA, I should be the one who's got it together." 

Sebastian shakes his head. "You already do so much for Chris, Y/N, and you're even filling in for my assistant even if you don't have to. You don't have to apologize if you break down once in a while. About damn time somebody took care of you too."

I didn't notice he was holding my hand until he squeezed it. I debate on whether to pull away but he only manages to grip it tighter before interlacing our fingers together. I look at our joined hands and my heart races at the sight. Sebastian seems to not be as affected as I am as he reclined his seat and took a nap.

Might as well do the same, I think to myself. I take a deep breath before reclining my own seat, sleep taking me away within minutes as I lay my head.

I wake up with my cheek pressed over something warm and what smells like a woodsy, spicy scent. I gingerly open my eyes and gasp a little upon realizing I was laying over Sebastian's chest. The arm rest between us has been moved up somehow and I was curled beside him, with a blanket draped over me. My hand lay over his chest and his was on top of mine. He was still sleeping peacefully and a multitude of emotions suddenly swarmed me.

What does he want? Why is he being like this with me? And why the fuck did I let Chris talk me into getting on this flight alone with Sebastian fucking Stan who just so happens to be the love of my perpetually single life?! 

I tried to gently extricate myself from Sebastian's hold but he seems to have felt my movements and manages his arm around my shoulder to pull me closer. Despite my inner conflict and confusion, it feels so good being this close to him that I had to calm myself down and tried to go back to sleep. 

But to my annoyance, I couldn't anymore. Thankfully, Seb stirs and wakes up. He groans a little before his face breaks out into a lazy smile upon seeing me. 

"D'you sleep alright?" he drawls sleepily. He shifts to straighten up a little to allow me to move. 

"Um, yeah, I did, thanks," I mumble. I mutter something about wanting to pee and got up as quickly as I could. I almost slam the door to the tiny restroom and lean over the sink before letting out a huge breath. I check my watch and we've only been airborne for four hours. I groan thinking how am I gonna manage fourteen more hours with this man and the way he's making me feel all sorts of things?!

I come back, rather reluctantly if I may say so, and find Sebastian leaning forward, his elbows anchoring his hands that was currently burying his face. He immediately straightens up as soon as he hears me walking back. 

"Hey...is everything alright?" I ask. When he looks up at me I feel like the world just abruptly stopped.

His eyes were no longer a breezy looking shade of blue but were replaced with two dark piercing pools pinning me to where I was standing. I couldn't tear my gaze away from him, following his movements from when he stood up until he was standing in front of me. He keeps me in his intense stare and much as I tried mustering the words, I couldn't so he spoke instead. 

"Y/N I'm sorry about...earlier," he whispers, as if he was almost afraid to speak out loud. "I...I don't know what's gotten over me, and when you didn't protest--fuck, I...I desperately wanted to believe you...you..."

As Sebastian was fumbling for his words, I was fighting a losing battle of whether to just shut him up with my mouth altogether. I let my instincts win and grabbed his neck to crash my lips to his. I felt his shock as he didn't move his lips for a second or two but as it dawned on him that I just kissed him, he didn't waste any more time and responded by grabbing my neck. I moaned against his mouth undulating against mine and this seemed to spur him on further, snaking his fingers from my neck down my spine until it rested on the small of my back, pulling me closer to him until there was no spa ce between us. I respond by wrapping my hands around his neck and deepening the kiss by letting him pry my mouth open, licking and sucking my lips and tongue as I let him dominate my mouth.

He pulls away after what seemed like forever, panting as if he ran a full sprint marathon. I was practically the same, chest heaving and breath chasing. Sebastian rests his forehead against mine before letting out a shaky breath. 

"I've wanted to do that the first time I laid eyes on you," he finally says after we've both managed to steady our breathing. "God, Y/N, I've been wanting you for so long...waiting five years is a fucking pain!"

I put my hand over his chest and feel it thrumming strongly underneath. He puts a hand over mine that is on his left chest. I pull away slightly but keep my hand steady. I search his eyes for any sort of hesitation but I find none.

"Sebastian...," I whisper wantonly as I look in his eyes. Hearing his name like that seemed to trigger something inside him, taking his turn to smash his lips on mine. This kiss was nothing like the first we shared. It felt raw, pulsing with need if his groans and my whimpers were anything to go by. The way his hands pushed me back against his torso made me arch my back, forcing me to grab onto his arms so I didn't fully bend over backwards.

I tilt my neck to the side as his lips began wandering my skin. A loud gasp escapes me as he begins lightly sucking on a pulse point, sending shockwaves over my body. He trails from one side to another before returning to my mouth. As he presses himself against me, I could feel his jean clad erection graze my clothed core. 

"Oh fuck," I gasp as he grinds against me. He whispers 'jump' in between kisses and I oblige, wrapping my legs around his waist as he walks us to the private room on one end of the jet. He sets me down and makes sure the sliding doors were properly locked before returning his attention to me.

I must have looked like a goddess judging from the way Sebastian stared at me. I've never felt so wanted in my life. A sudden confidence washes over me and I slowly undress in front of him until I was standing there in only my beige lace underwear, thankful I thought of wearing one of my most expensive and luxurious sets. He stands there for a few seconds transfixed by me before he realizes he's overdressed. He removes his own in the same manner as I did, leaving his tight boxers on and his straining erection for show. He closes the gap between us again. 

"Jesus, Y/N...not even my fantasies do you justice..fuck..."

Well, color me the same. I could feel my underwear dampen at the sight of him looking like God sculpted him Himself. Chris wasn't kidding when he talked about how Seb got insanely buffed out for Winter Soldier. 

He pulls me again for another kiss and walks us backwards until the back of my knees touched the bed. He gingerly guides me down and I pull myself up, neither of us breaking our kiss which got heated even more as he ground himself over me. My hands grab his clothed ass, wanting more of the delicious friction, but he had other ideas. 

"Patience, babe, right now I'll need to take care of you first."

Pushing himself up slightly, he then dips back down again and kisses his way all over my body, making sure every inch of exposed skin gets his proper attention. I reach between my chest and unclasp the hooks of my bra, exposing my hardened peaks to him. Sebastian groans in pleasure before diving down and sucking one of my swells while his hand toys with the other.

"So fucking perfect. It's like your tits were made for my hands," he mutters and hums before resuming his assault on my breasts. I was lost for words, eyes shut tight, only feeling the sensations his mouth was doing to me. I could feel the tightness in my belly building slowly as he continued to lave kisses down to my belly until he stopped at the edge of my panties. My eyes shoot open and I prop myself up with my elbows, locking gazes with him as he looked at me with unbridled lust.

Sebastian smirks before his teeth takes hold of the band of my underwear and slowly pulls it down. I lift my hips so he could slide it down and off of me, the cool air of the cabin momentarily making my pussy quiver. I shudder as his lips descend to my sensitive area and he wastes no time by tracing my slit with the tip of his tongue. My back sharply arches off of the mattress at the contact as I cry out in pleasure.

My hands grab ahold of his long locks as he begins worshipping my cunt, alternating between stroking my folds with his tongue and sucking on my clit with his lips. His right hand rests over my stomach to hold me down and keep me from thrashing so much. A stream of obscenities flow freely from my lips as the pressure keep building with his every lick and suck.

He hums and the vibration of his low voice shoots an insane amount of pleasure through me. Seb then takes tiny bites of my clit and this sends me over the edge, his name a soft but needy plea from my lips. My body shakes violently from the intensity of the orgasm that just washed through me. I could feel his lips curl up to a satisfied smirk as his lips work their way up until finding my gaping lips again.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Sebastian," I murmur breathily over his lips. He chuckles lowly before responding to me. 

"I wonder how many times I can make you come like that, hmm?" 

It was my turn to smirk and giggle. "Are you asking permission or just thinking out loud?" 

"Is that a dare, sweetheart?" He then grinds his rock hard erection over my wet pussy and we both gasp at the sensation. Another wave of arousal jolts me up, pushing his shoulders until he was the one lying on his back. He raises an eyebrow at me, waiting for what I'm gonna do next. I do the same and take his hands to rest on my hips. I start grinding over him until he got the hint and he was the one swaying me up and down his covered length. 

"Oh god..." I whimper as I feel another orgasm building in my belly. I dip down for another kiss as I let him keep grinding me over him.

"Oh fuck this," Sebastian growls but gently pushes me for a bit. I take the hint and I furiously help him remove the last bit of barrier separating his hard cock from my needy pussy. It springs free and my mouth salivates at his thickness and the precum seeping from the tip. He gets up and crushes my lips with his again before pushing me back down on my back. 

"Like I said, this is all about you, Y/N. Ready?" 

I nod and quickly gasp as he touches his tip over my entrance. He slowly pushes in and I had to steady my breathing until he can completely sheath his hardened length inside me. He groans when he's all the way through, dropping his head over the crook of my neck, his breaths quick and sharp. My insides involuntarily clench and he jerks over me. 

"Jesus, you gotta stop squeezing me sweetheart or this is gonna be over before we even start," he strains each word out and I try to slow down my own breathing before whispering to him to start moving.

"Oh _shitshitshit_ ," I whimper at the feel of his length caressing my walls. My legs automatically wind around his waist, ending with my ankles crossed at the dip of his back. I urge Seb to go faster and he gasps out a quick word of thanks. He pulls out nearly all the way out before quickly slamming back in and then quickening his pace.

"You feel so fucking good," he says in between thrusts, alternating it with praising me at how I'm taking his girth so well. My head burrows further on the pillow as he continues drilling into me. I was a babbling incoherent mess as the only thing my brain was telling my body was to fall apart underneath Sebastian.

"God, baby I wanna cum inside you..would you let me _oh fuck_..sweetheart, please," he groans pleadingly over my ear before a hand of his reaches down to play with my clit, flicking it up and down with his index and middle fingers. I knew my release was close as my breaths got quicker and shorter. Sebastian's lips nibble my ear lobe before whispering, "Come, Y/N."

He times this with one last thrust and flick of my clit and I was coming harder than I ever thought possible. He was with me within seconds, the warmth of his release mixing with mine. He was panting audibly over my neck while I kept mumbling his name over and over despite my own heaving breaths as well. He jerks a couple more times inside me before mustering his remaining energy to finally pull out of me. We both wince at the disconnect and Seb plops down beside me with a soft thud.

The gravity of what we just did and the realization that we did not use protection suddenly hit me like a truck. I haven't had sex with anyone in six years and I never would have expected my dry spell to be broken today by the one person I wanted to the most. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love! Appreciate the comments and kudos! Here's another one. I'd love to hear from you!

I managed to get through the Asian leg of the press tour with as minimal contact as possible with Seb after what happened in the private jet. Chris would throw furtive glances my way but thankfully we were all too busy for him to actually confront me or Sebastian about it.

I wanted to smack myself for being such a coward by still keeping what I felt about Seb to myself. Seb didn't seem to mind my silence either, acting as if nothing happened. I didn't know whether to be annoyed or relieved at this. I just know that I didn't want to deal with it until he does.

It was our first day back from Asia and me and Chris headed back home to Sudbury to rest and recharge for the next round of press happening in two weeks, this time we're going Stateside. Lisa insisted I stay with her and I easily agreed, having missed her and the rest of the family. 

I was playing with Miles one late Friday afternoon when Chris decided to confront me.

"Hey buddy," Chris greets his nephew with a ruffle of his head. "Why don't you go upstairs and help Nana fold clothes? I need to talk to aunt Y/N, is that alright?" 

Miles quickly agrees but not before giving me a kiss on the cheek and telling me how much he missed me. I give him a hug in return and he was off to see his grandma.

"So..what's up? Do you need me to run through your schedule next week?" I ask nonchalantly. "'Cause I got it here on--" 

I was about to grab my phone from the coffee table but Chris grabs my hand instead, making me stop. He lets go and when I turn to look at him, he was regarding me with a somewhat stern glare.

"What?" I ask innocently. 

"Something happened between you and Seb. I can tell. Now we only have a few days left before you guys see each other again and I need you to come clean with me," his tone is dead serious and I could feel my stomach churning, all the snacks I ate with Miles earlier seemingly coming back up. 

"Chris..." I say, my voice suddenly sounding weak.

His glare seems to harden further. "Don't 'Chris' me, Y/N. What's going on with you and Sebastian?" 

"I...," I stumbled. Fuck it, might as well tell him the truth, he won't stop asking me anyway. "We uh..um, we slept together--you know, on the jet and..."

I wasn't able to finish what I was about to say when the need to barf overpowered me, sending me scurrying fast to the bathroom. It was as if I emptied the contents of my stomach before I slumped on the floor, half passed out due to sudden exhaustion. 

Chris was beside me in seconds, gathering me up in his arms and carrying me to my room. 

"You okay?" he asked worriedly, his brows furrowing in concern. I shake my head slowly as I try to assess how I truly felt physically. And then of course worry sets in, as we are leaving in three days to begin another round of media madness.

"I want to say yes, but we both know I'm a bad liar so..."

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital? No, wait, scratch that, I AM taking you to the hospital."

We manage to get a doctor to check me out within minutes of arriving. At the moment, we were sitting in the waiting area to be called again for my lab results.

A nurse comes out from the doctor's room and calls out my last name. I give Chris a worried look but he just smiles at me reassuringly. 

"It's nothing, come on," he reaches out a hand at me and I take it, letting him lead me to the doctor. 

"Is Mr. Evans..." the doctor asks but I cut him off. 

"Mr. Evans is family, doctor..." I squint my eyes to see his name patch. "...Rivers. What is going on?" 

"Y/N..." Chris puts a hand on my shoulder but I couldn't seem to relax in my seat. He stays standing behind me as the doctor explains my lab results.

"...early stages of pregnancy...barely three weeks...get started on vitamins..."

I didn't hear the rest. The next thing I see is Chris sitting in front of me, the sheet of paper outlining my lab results in one of his hands, the other is clutching mine. The rest of everything else passed by in a blur until we got back to the house. He took me straight to my room and locked the door behind him, telling Lisa on the other side he'll talk to her later.

"How are you feeling?" Chris asks, his forehead creased in worry. I could see the fear in his eyes and it was all it took for the enormity of my current situation to come crashing into my consciousness.

I tried opening my mouth to say something but a helpless sob comes out instead. I begin crying like a child, the fear creeping inside me worse than the day I lost my parents in that god awful plane crash.

I collapse inside Chris strong arms as the floodgates inside my eyes continued to flow. I'm pregnant, and the father of my unborn child doesn't know how I truly feel about him and doesn't seem to want to do anything with me. 

"Ssshhh...it's going to be alright, I got you, I got you..." Chris whispers repeatedly while rocking me gently. I stay locked in his hold for what seemed like forever until my tears subsided and I had considerably calmed down.

"I'm so scared, Christopher," I finally manage to speak, though I sounded hoarse. "What am I gonna do?" 

I reach out for him once again and this time, I was the one that held on to him tightly. Chris exhales before asking me a question. 

"Do you want to tell Sebastian?" 

"I don't know...do you think I should?" 

"What do you honestly think?" 

I scoff. "Are we talking in questions now?" 

He manages a small chuckle. "Y/N...just-just tell me what's on your mind right now and I'll tell you what I think."

"Right now my instincts tell me I shouldn't. After we slept together he barely looked at me the rest of our trip," I tell him. 

Chris stays silent for a few beats and it makes me nervous as hell. I let out a breath when he finally speaks. 

"You know I love you, right?" 

I nod and hum to affirm my response. 

"The right thing is to at least let Seb know. He deserves that, his reaction be damned. If you don't want to though, I'll still support you, just let me know what you need. But I can't stress it enough, and it may be hard, but telling him is still the right thing to do."

I didn't get much sleep that night, but I was already sure of what to do. 

  
_5 years later_

"Scott! Where the hell did you hide my child this time?!" 

The idiot just grins at me and plops down on the chaise and has the audacity to shrug. He shrugged! As if my little boy was just a toy we can just find later. Just as I was about to spew a few choice curse words, I hear a light patter of footsteps. Before I could turn around though, a pair of arms grab ahold of my hips, hugging me from behind. 

"MOMMY!" I smile despite my annoyance at Scott and slowly turn around to find my baby boy looking up at me, his blue grey eyes beaming. 

"Theo...," I tried to sound stern but it came out like a coo instead. I gather him up in my arms and give him a peck on the cheek. He instantly wraps his arms around my neck and lays his head on my shoulder.

"What can I say? It was his idea!" Scott raises both arms up in self defense. I pinch his nose before leaving him in the living room.

After finding out I was with child, I stopped working for Chris temporarily after two months, just enough that I still wasn't showing so as not to make anyone suspicious. Sebastian called me a few times but I always managed to brush him off. It took him four tries before he got the memo and finally left me alone. Shortly, he started dating an actress on and off, finally ending it a year and a half after. I could say I was secretly glad, but I still did not get my hopes up. He seemed to bury himself in work, appearing in a lot of movies over the last few years. That was as far as I knew about him while I was holed in in Boston. 

Nobody knew about my pregnancy except for the entire Evans family. Shanna and Carly were livid at first at my decision to not tell Sebastian, but they respected it well enough and supported me anyway through it. Scott reacted similarly to Chris and was the one who brought me to the hospital when my water broke. It was 20 hours of pure hell but I instantly forgot the pain as soon as I heard my boy wailing out loud to introduce himself to the world. 

Right now though, the toddler currently holding on to me tightly was whispering something in my ear. 

"Mommy I want Cheerios...uncle Scott said you'd give me when you come back...please?"

I chuckled at this and kissed the top of his head. "He did huh? But that was your breakfast this morning!" 

I set him on the kitchen counter and pretended to think about his request. He smiled and my heart just about exploded. A tinge of pain passes as his smile reminded me so much of his father way too well. I ignore it anyway. 

"Please Mommy, please?" 

Theo blinks a couple of times and that was it. I was fucking done for. God, what I wouldn't do to give the world to this kid.

"I hate it when you do that, no fair to mommy!" I mutter as I grab the box from one of the cabinets and poured some onto his outstretched hands. He grins and stuffs them all in one go. I give him some more before I cut him off and put him down for his afternoon nap. 

I was standing by his room's door when Scott comes up to my side. He nudges me and puts an arm around my shoulder. I eye him suspiciously and he just grins at me and hugs me tighter. My lips break into a grin of my own and we just stand there, watching my son sleep.

"God he looks just like his dad--he who must not be named," Scott muses bluntly. "You know Chris will take the brunt of his anger when he finds out, right?" 

"Ugh," I groan. "Damn it, Scott. Shut up."

"Hun, it's been five years...Se--I mean, Theo's dad must be wondering what the hell happened to you. I know Chris is covering for you, but all secrets are bound to be found out, you know?" 

I sighed and rested my head on Scott's shoulder. He's right on both points, and that's music I'd have to eventually dance to. Despite his reassurances, I knew how hard it was for Chris to keep me and my child a secret to one of his closest friends who happens to be the father of said child. 

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Y/N, but it's time to start thinking about what to do when Sebastian finds out."

Scott must have cosmic powers because when Chris came home that evening, he'd asked me if I could start working for him again. He's had four different assistants over the last 3 years and despite me helping all of them, Chris simply wasn't satisfied. 

"I'll have to think about it, Chris," I said as I was fixing myself up for bed. He was sitting behind me on my bed before plopping back down with a sigh. He then gets back up with a proposal. 

"Okay, this may sound crazy, but...can I take you to New York? We're beginning press for Knives Out and---" 

"Uh, no? We might run into--" 

Chris cuts me right back off. "He's in Atlanta for the series, we won't."

"I can't just leave Theo here...Lisa's busy with the new theater, and I can't possibly sic another child to Shan and Carly!" 

"Then bring him. Look, I'm not asking you to do a lot for me, I just want you to see how bad the new assistant is! And y'know, maybe, just show 'em how you do it. Please?" 

He draws out the last word like a child and gives me his best impression of a kicked puppy and I couldn't help but laugh at how pathetic he looked instead. 

"Fuck you, Christopher Robert," I mutter angrily under my breath as we walked through the airport after landing in NYC. We decided to walk separately so as not to be photographed together while I was carrying Theo. I had to wait at least ten minutes before I was picked up by the town car to take me to the hotel we were staying. Another fifteen minutes would pass before Chris would come and see us in my room. 

"Remind me again why I'm doing this?" I ask as I check out Theo if he's fallen asleep. I sigh with relief when I was satisfied he was and then proceeded to sit on a chair. Chris takes one for himself and kisses my forehead before sitting beside me. 

"Because you love me and you hate seeing me suffer," he says matter of factly and he gives me a wry grin. I punch his arm in response before looking back at my son.

"It's insane how he looks so much like--" 

"He looks like his father, I know, I KNOW," I elongate the o and scoff. "I can see that every single fucking day."

He doesn't respond verbally and just heaves a breath of his own. He instead drapes an arm over my shoulder. 

"He's my entire world, Chris. I can't-I don't know what I'd do if I lose him," I say. 

"You won't lose him, Y/N. I'll make sure of that. Even if it's the last thing I'd do."

I was filled with relief the NYC leg of the press tour went without much fuss. I didn't run into any common friends Sebastian and I had and for it was immensely thankful. I got roped into one more week of press and the public premiere of the movie which I had no choice in. Even my son was in on convincing me to follow his uncle Chris in LA. I figured I should stop worrying about what might happen or who I could run into and just enjoy spending time with my son and best friend. 

As I was fixing Chris' suit, I realized how much I missed being the one fussing and taking care of him. While watching him with his current assistant I noticed how stiff he was and never really feeling fully comfortable. It dawned on me how much he needed me to be there as I was the only one who knew him well enough to calm him down in situations like this. I've seen the worst of his social anxiety and depression and in those moments though he won't admit, he needed someone from his family and I was the closest one he could rely on.

"There," I said satisfactorily and stepped back to review his overall look. Chris had a double breasted cream white suit paired up with brown leather shoes. He grins at me but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. I was about to say something but Theo runs into the room. 

"Uncle Chris looks good mommy!"

Chris grins again and picks up Theo. "Hey buddy, you really think so?" My son nods enthusiastically and this influences a hearty chuckle from Chris. I let them talk for a few more minutes as I pad to our room to check on my phone.

An Instagram notification pops up from one of my friends and my breath stops after tapping to open it. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo...I had to wait until I got 500 hits to post this update and you lovely people delivered! I really appreciate the love and feedback you've shown this story!

I wasn't able to sleep that night and I couldn't text Chris to tell him that shit was about to hit the fan. Someone had seen me leaving NYC with Chris and Theo and had snapped a photo of it. E!News picked up on it and speculated about me, the former assistant as really being Chris Evans' carefully concealed girlfriend he'd accidentally gotten pregnant. 

And to make things worse, someone else had tagged me in a TMZ post from five years ago, this time of a grainy photo of me and Sebastian holding hands while walking out of Changi International in Singapore. I was in a hoodie, keeping my face partially hidden but Seb's face recognizable enough. Both comments section of each post were blowing up with insane theories and speculation with hashtags and tags to Seb's Instagram handle.

Chris and his team were in my room first thing the following morning, already strategizing how to handle the sudden turn of events. Chris pulls me out of the madness to another room of the suite.

"I'm...I shouldn't have--" 

"Stop it. This isn't your fault. Scott was right, this was bound to happen," I tell him, my voice shaking.

"But I promised--" he was about to continue when his phone rings. He pulls it out and his eyes widen for the smallest of fractions before looking at me.

"Who is it?" I ask. Chris lets it ring a couple more times before telling me. 

"It's Sebastian."

I nod for him to take call just as I hear Theo whimper for me. I go to see him, but even in another room, I could hear the intensity of their conversation as Chris put him in speaker. Thankfully Theo falls asleep again, missing much of the shouting match.

"You fucking hid her from me for five years man! You don't get to tell me to calm the fuck down!"

"It's not my place to tell you she didn't want to do anything with you Seb," I hear Chris say tiredly. "Did you really expect me to go against the wishes of one of the most important persons in my life? You know she's family to me." 

"But I am your friend! Shouldn't that count for something?!" Seb says angrily. 

"You are, but I saw how you treated her and she was already hurting for five years just because you couldn't bring it in you to tell her how you truly felt about her. She's just not a one night stand, she's special."

They fall silent for a few moments and I hold my breath. I lean my forehead against the door. 

"Is the kid...is he yours?" 

"No," Chris breathes out, his voice clearly strained. "He's your son, Seb."

Tears fall from my eyes as the secret I've held on to for years has come out. I don't hear the rest of their conversation as I join my son on the bed and quietly sob while holding him in my arms.

  
Chris' manager and publicist leaves after a couple of hours, advising us that if another more credible outlet picks up on the story is only when they're gonna put out an official statement. Unfortunately, they couldn't do anything about the TMZ pics, as it would be up to Seb's people to do anything about it. 

Chris sees them out and I curl up beside Theo who was now watching videos on his iPad. He puts it down and looks up at me. 

"Mommy why are you sad?" 

His blue grey eyes seems to pierce through my soul and despite my efforts, a lone tear escapes my eye. He wraps his small arms around me. 

"Don't cry mommy, I'm here...I don't like you crying," he says as he hugs me closer to him.

"Oh baby, my baby," I gasp as I kiss the top of his head. "I love you so much, ok?" 

"I love you too mommy."

Chris comes inside to find us in the same position. He kisses both our foreheads before settling on the other side of me. Theo smiles at him before picking up the iPad again. 

"What did he say?" I ask. 

Chris exhaled. "Well, I don't know how much you heard, but he was adamant to see you the soonest he can. And that's in two weeks. I didn't promise him anything and didn't even tell him he could call you."

"Okay."

"What do you mean 'okay'?"

I pick my phone up and create a text message. I show it to Chris after sending it.

_*Chris told me you wanted to see me. Fly out to Sudbury in 2 weeks then call me.-Y/N*_

  
True to his word, Sebastian was in Boston two weeks after the posts broke out. Chris insisted that he join me in picking him up at the airport.

"You know you didn't have to be here," I tell him. We were currently in the parking lot waiting for Seb. My phone buzzes with a new text, it was him, saying he'd be out in five minutes.

"And you know that I won't let you do this alone, Y/N," he retorts. "Seb was pretty livid when we spoke on the phone. We haven't talked since." 

"I'm so sorry I had to come between you two," I respond sadly. He gives me a shake of his head.

"You have nothing to apologize for. You always come first."

Sebastian arrives and it would be an understatement to say the ride back to my place was tension filled from when he got in until we arrived. It was a good thing Lisa offered to let Theo stay with her until everything's been sorted out. I really hoped we could. 

I immediately hit the kitchen to fetch drinks for the three of us. I braced myself on the kitchen counter and took a few calming breaths.

Sebastian's here. After non contact for half a decade, he's back in my life again and I had no choice about it. 

I could hear him and Chris calmly talking for a few minutes. Apologies were exchanged later and when I return to the living room, I find them separating after a hug.

"Drinks?" I ask the two men and offer them a can of Sam Adams each. They both take it, prompting me to take the next available seat beside Chris. He stands up after a few chugs. 

"I'm gonna be outside," he declares. "You two have _a lot_ to talk about."

My heart starts racing as soon as he's out, leaving me and Sebastian alone for the first time in a long time. He eyes me carefully and I do the same.

A jumble of thoughts run through my mind but the only thing that seems to stick out is the stark truth that despite the years, my feelings for this man hasn't changed. I have tried my hardest to move on and see other people but I always end up comparing them to him and making up my mind even before the main course is served.

I am desperately and irrevocably in love with Sebastian. No two ways about it.

"How have you been?" Sebastian finally breaks the silence. His eyes feel like boring holes into my soul, much like how Theo looks at me.

"I'm well," I respond, my voice surprisingly steady. "You?" 

He was about to say something but then seemingly changes his mind by shaking his head and chuckling emotionlessly. 

"God honest truth, Y/N? It's been a shitty last few years."

My breath hitches at the pain in his voice. He looks down and when he looks back at me, he seemed broken, defeated.

"After we..slept together, I wanted to tell you how I feel about you. I didn't wait five years just to kiss you. You weren't just some girl I wanted to fuck. Chris was right, you _are_ someone special."

"Seb..."

"I know it may be too late now but I still want to try and make amends. To you and to our son. Please?"

Sebastian was on the verge of tears and I had to fight to keep my own at bay. I still felt a little conflicted. Make amends? I don't need his help raising my son, I was doing just fine by myself the last five years. What he says next though would knock the wind out of me. 

"This is too late for me to say now but I will say it anyway. I love you, Y/N. You're the only woman I've ever felt this way for. It's okay if you don't feel the same. I just needed to get it off my chest."

I stood up and paced slowly and I can feel him still fixing his stare at me. I stopped close to the door, my back to him. 

"God I loved you so much then, you know?" I said before turning back round to face him. "Seeing you today, it brought me back to that first night in London. You didn't make it hard for me to fall for you. The thing is..."

Seb stood up and began walking towards me. My breath hitched as he got closer until there was only mere inches separating us. 

"What, Y/N?" Seb asked, his breath fanning my face.

He gingerly placed a hand on my hip. His eyes turned a shade darker and it was searing right through my resolve.

It did make me feel bold enough to say what I've been feeling. 

"I still fucking love you."

His eyes widen at my admission and I could tell he wanted to kiss me. I wanted him to as well but I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. 

"Oh god, Y/N," he gasps softly and rests his forehead over mine. I close my eyes and savor the feel of him being so close.

"We need to work this out this time, Sebastian. Words are nice but we both need to back it up. There's someone else involved now and there's...there's just too much at stake. I can't go through what I did the last few years. It's too hard," my voice faltered towards the end and it was the last straw that brought on the tears. I bow down and he takes both my hands in his, kissing them before pulling me in for a hug. I sob relentlessly in a plethora of emotions--anger, fear, relief, joy, among all other things I've felt for five years being by myself going through pregnancy and raising a child on my own.

Chris finds us seated on the couch, me curled up beside Seb as he has an arm draped over my shoulder. He smiles upon seeing us and we both return it with our own shy smiles as well. I make to get up but Chris raises a hand to stop. 

"Don't get up on my account, I was just making sure you both weren't tearing each other's throats or something. Good talk then?" 

Seb and I nod. "There's some things we need to work on and we both promised to try," he says and I nod my agreement. 

"Good," Chris responds. "And for the love of God, did you two--" 

Seb and I knew what he was gonna ask and so we answered him at the same time by looking at each other, whispering 'I love you'. Chris fake gags at us but I could see the relief in his eyes. He says his goodbye not long after, leaving me truly alone with Seb for the first time in ages.

"Can you tell me about him?" Seb asks when my phone screen lights up, showing a picture of Theo. I grab it to open the photo album and began telling him about our son. 

I catch him up on everything about Theodore and his eyes begin to water when I shared his firsts--word, time he crawled, walked. When I showed him the videos, it was his turn to sob profusely. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask him worriedly. "Tell me."

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you and Theo," he admits. He repeats himself and drops his head, shoulders heaving, his entire body shaking as he cried and cried beside me.

It was only an entire afternoon but the spectrum of emotions that coursed between us felt like we relived the last three years together. It was cathartic to say the least, releasing some of the pent up frustration we've both held on to for the last ten years total.

It had fallen dark outside by the time we decided to call it a day. I'd been so wrapped with catching up with Sebastian that I didn't notice this. My phone rings and I see it's Lisa calling.

"Hey Lisa, thanks for--"

"Mommy!" I smile widely upon hearing my son's voice. Sebastian is immediately beside me, prompting me to put the phone on speaker.

"Hey sweetheart, how was your day? Were you good for Nana and Uncle Chris?" I ask him.

"Yes mommy! Nana made me pancakes with faces on them and I ate them for dinner! I love Nana's pancakes!" Theo tells me giddily before giggling, I could hear Chris in the background tickling him. I look at Sebastian who was now sporting the biggest grin.

We talk for a few more minutes, well, more like Theo talking my ear off telling me his entire day. It is when he starts yawning that Chris comes on the line. Theo protests but Chris seems to tell him something that convinces him otherwise.

"Say good night to mommy now," Chris coos.

"Good night mommy, I miss you. Uncle Chris says I have to sleep now, will you come get me tomorrow?"

"Yes, sweetheart, I will. I have someone I'd like you to meet so you better get rested up real good, okay?"

"Okay," he mumbles before punctuating it with another yawn. "I love you mommy."

"And I love you more, buddy. Good night."

  
"Aaannd he's out," Chris's voice comes clearer. "You guys good?"

"Yeah," Seb answers. "Thanks again, man."

"No problem. I gotta go, ma needs the phone and I gotta get Theo to bed."

  
The line goes dead and Sebastian is still smiling like an idiot. I playfully smush his face before he grabs my hand and kisses my upturned palm.

"You've done such a great job raising him on your own. I can't wait to meet him. Are you sure it's not too soon though?"

I answer him with a shake of my head. "Keeping him from you was one of the worst decisions I've made. We just need to be careful with him. I can see how he looks longingly at Carly and Shanna's husbands whenever they're with their kids. It broke my heart when he asked me for the first time where his dad was. I don't want to see that look on his face again. Our son deserves the world, even if I screwed it up on the first attempt."

  
I awake the following morning to butterfly kisses along my shoulder up to my neck. I hum in satisfaction and press myself further to the warm body behind me.

I had asked Sebastian to stay with me last night, insisting that it was impractical to stay in a hotel when he has a couple of places he could stay in for free instead--Chris' place and/or mine. He was hesitant, remembering what happened the last time we were in bed together. I reassure him that I was okay with him staying and that things in the past should stay in the past.

"Did you sleep okay?" I mumble. He doesn't respond. His lips caressing my skin starts to grow hotter each second. I shut my eyes tight and gasp when he lightly sucks on the curve of my neck, my surprise evident that he still remembers how it makes me squirm and hot for him.

"More than okay," he replies in between kisses. "I haven't slept that well in God knows how long."

I try to scoff but I end up moaning softly when he starts nibbling on my lobe. His hand starts wandering underneath my shirt, the tips of his fingers grazing my stomach lightly. I figured it useless to suppress my moans and whimpers, I have been touch starved for so long and his was the only one that could fill that need. 

"God I missed hearing you, Y/N," Seb whispers in my ear just as his fingers wander up to my now hardened nipples. A shaky moan escapes my lips. He mumbles a soft 'fuck' and he continues to play with my breasts. After a satisfied hum, his fingers snake south to my trembling stomach down to the waistband of my shorts. Another gasp escapes me as he toys with the garter of my knickers. I could feel my belly begin to tighten and my center dampen at his touch.

"Seb please..." I pant while grabbing on to the comforter. He's turning me into a puddle of need and if he doesn't touch me where I need him I'm gonna burst. He seems to register the needy plea in my voice as he descends his fingers further down. His index and middle fingers finally graze my clothed center for a few seconds but he abruptly pulls them out afterwards.

I have never growled in frustration. Until now. 

He presses his lips on my shoulder again and I could feel him smirk over my skin.

"I want to take my time with you, Y/N. I want to hear every single sound from your lips every time I touch you. I want to see the look in your eyes as I ruin you for any one else. We have all the time in the world and I intend on making every single second count."

He was hovering me as he said every word. I could see the love, the adoration, the care and fierceness of all of those feelings and it took my breath away at the sincerity oozing in them.

Instead of responding with words, I cup his cheeks in both my hands and pull him down for a slow, indulgent kiss, hoping to convey the message that spoken words cannot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a bit agonizing to wait to get to 500..how about 200 next? Or 70 kudos? Whichever one comes first?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian meets Theo. Emotions are abound. 
> 
> And Y/N and Sebastian reconnect in more ways than one. Five years apart makes them needy for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! 200 hits in less than 10 days! Enjoy!

Sebastian was a fidgeting mess before I left him to go pick up Theodore at Lisa's. Despite my reassurances, he was nervous as hell. 

"What if he doesn't like me? Oh my god, Y/N, he must hate me! I don't think I can do this!" he was pacing quickly in front of me while I finished getting dressed up. I smiled at his hunched up form when he finally decided to sit in my bed. The way his shoulders heaved sharply up and down told me he's having a panic attack. 

"Hey, look at me," I lift his chin and turned him so he could look at me. His eyes spoke of worry. "Remember when I told you how Theo looked at Chris' brothers in law and asked me about his own dad?" 

Sebastian nods. "What did you tell him?" 

"He asked me why he doesn't have one. He's always wondered if it was his fault because of how long I was in pain during labor before he came. That you got mad and left us. Theo, he's--he's such an insightful boy and I told him that you weren't there because..."

Sebastian looks at me as if he was holding his breath. 

"I told him the truth. That I pushed you away because I thought you didn't want me. But I reassured him that you would love to meet him someday. That despite what happened between you and me, you were the kindest man that his mommy ever met. He didn't talk to me for a day after that and I found him sitting alone in the living room, drawing."

I stood up and opened one of the bedside drawers and pulled out a piece of paper. I hand it to Sebastian and he puts a hand over his mouth as his eyes water at the image. 

Theo drew a picture of the three of us. He was standing between me and Seb, both his hands holding one of ours in an action that seemed like he was connecting the two of us.

"He did this?" 

I nod. "He didn't ask me about you after that but I could tell my admission affected him. I tried to apologize to him but he said I didn't have to."

"Y/N..."

"You've already apologized enough," I reassure him. "It's my turn."

"I'm sorry I was an idiot. I got scared and selfish and not once did I stop to think that you at least deserved to know what happened to me. You tried reaching out but I never gave you a chance. I still honestly can't believe you're here, but I intend on making up for lost time."

Seb folds Theo's drawing and puts it in his pocket. He then grabs my hand and we make our way out.

  
Theo nearly trips over as he runs to me. Chris just stands by the door with a huge grin over his face. Once Theo was in my hold was when he only starts walking towards me. 

"Hey you," he says in greeting. "Good night?" 

I could only smile and felt a blush on my neck.

"That good huh?" 

"Shut up. Nothing happened. I just didn't want him paying absurd money when he can sleep for free in mine," I explain.

"Who are you talking about mom?" 

"Well," I look at him and fleetingly at Chris. "There's someone I'd like you to meet. Ready to go home?"

  
"Y-you're my--my dad?" Theo asks Sebastian, his eyes wide as he stares at him.

I just told my son who this man was after a little preamble. Theo seemed to be a little confused but that something was clicking in his head. His eyes widen again as if recognizing something.

I just sat there, watching the interaction unfold front and center. It's like watching the same person meet at different points in his life. When the Evans tells me my son looks so much like Sebastian I didn't realize how much until seeing them today talking face to face. The resemblance is so stunning, I can't even put it into words.

Sebastian nods slowly, his eyes holding a spectrum of emotions as he anticipates Theo's reaction. 

"You don't hate my mommy?" he asks fearfully, his voice so small, we both barely heard it. 

"Oh god, no baby, no!" Sebastian grabs Theo's hands and puts it over his chest. "Can you feel that, sweetheart?" 

"It's so fast!" my son muses, causing me and Seb to let out teary but amused chuckles.

"Listen to me, Theodore. I will _never_ hate you and your mom," Seb looks at me for a second before returning his gaze at his son. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. You and Mommy are the most important people in my life. Every beat of my heart is because of you both. Always remember that, okay?" 

"Okay," Theo responds. He giggles as he presses his hand further over his dad's chest. "That tickles!"

He looks at it in wonder before pulling his hand down. When he looks back up at Sebastian, his eyes hold a tinge of worry in them. Seb asks what's wrong and Theo hesitates before speaking again.

"Is it alright then if I call you dad?" he stutters a bit before looking at me as if asking for help. The tears I've been fighting not to let out win. "Can I call him my daddy, mommy? Please?" he then returns his gaze back to Sebastian. 

Sebastian takes Theo's hand and nods at him. "Nothing would make me happier, Theodore."

Theo squeals then launches himself in Sebastian's arms. They both laugh as Theo tightens his hold on his father. I feel like my chest would burst with so much happiness when Seb responds by kissing the top of our son's head.

  
I let Seb put Theo down for a nap, allowing me a few extra minutes to clean up a little and to call Chris. He looks at me in anticipation, a questioning look in his eyes. I didn't need to ask what he was worried about.

"They're upstairs in Theo's room. He insisted Seb read him a story for his nap," I tell him with the biggest smile on my face. Chris exhales in relief and smiles back at me. 

"And how's mom doing?"

I sigh and close my eyes for a bit before responding to him. "Like my heart would burst. I never thought this day would come, you know very well how I dreaded it. Sebastian was amazing with him and I couldn't help..."

"What?"

"...loving him more," I admit to him with a sigh.

"Well I'm glad you've finally gotten your chance at complete happiness now, Y/N. The last five years weren't easy for you, and you deserve every good thing that's coming your way." 

We talk for a couple more minutes and Chris tells me that the family wants us to come over for dinner later. I tell them we'll be there. 

I decided to check up on my boys and made my way upstairs. Just before reaching the top, I could hear faint sounds of someone singing. Theo's door was left ajar and when I opened it, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. 

Sebastian was laying on his back, his arm stretched out on one side. Theo was on his side, his head and right hand resting over his father's chest. He was clearly asleep, but Seb kept singing to him, gently ruffling his hair every once in a while. A sniffle escapes me and Seb hears. 

"Hi," he whispers and beckons for me to sit on the bed. "You okay?" 

I nod. "Aren't you both a sight for sore eyes."

"Nah, you love us," Sebastian responds confidently. He presses a kiss one more time over Theo's head and moves him gingerly so he could put him down. He then takes my hand to lead me out of the room.

I am immediately wrapped in his arms and pulled close to him, our chests touching.

"I am so in love with him," he says wistfully. "I can't believe I have a kid now. With you. It's insane."

"You best believe it, dad. You're stuck with us now," I tell him a bit playfully. His smiles so widely it felt like I was Icarus looking at the sun, unable to tear my eyes away. 

"Are you kidding? There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"I love you," I tell him. He repeats it to me before cupping my neck and kissing me slowly. The kiss gets heated within seconds and I didn't waste time by pulling him to my room. 

Our lips continue their slow dance as we take our time with each other. Sebastian takes me to my full length mirror, and I frown a little at him. 

"You...are the most beautiful human being I have ever met," he whispers in my ear before swiping my hair to the side and planting open mouthed kisses on the exposed part of my neck. He tugs on the bottom of my shirt and pulls it off of me. He does the same and resumes kissing my neck and shoulder.

"You're one to talk," I manage to say. "Look at you, you're fucking perfect." 

He scoffs but nevertheless doesn't stop kissing and nipping on my skin. "I'm nowhere near perfect. I'm just as flawed as anyone else. And I didn't say you were perfect, you're beautiful. And I'll do everything I can to remind you of that any chance I get." 

His hands sneak down to my waist and he beckons me to watch as his fingers play with the growing wetness there. I moan at the feeling, resting my head on his bare shoulder.

"How much time do we have?" 

I barely register his question but manage to catch it. "Two hours... _mmmnnhhhh, Seb_!" He inserts two fingers inside my heat and begins to pump them in and out, building up a rapid pace. I buck into his hand involuntarily and angle my head towards his for another searing kiss. It felt so good to be touched like this again, I accidentally bit Sebastian's lip. I tasted a little copper of his blood and he abruptly took his hand out of my knickers and spun me around so fast I was almost dizzy. 

His eyes had turned dark, the depths of it making me both scared and even more aroused at the same time. He touches a finger on his bloodied lip before actually growling like a feral bear.

"That was so fucking hot, oh my god, Y/N," he half groans and whispers before crashing his lips on mine again. This time I couldn't help the muffled yet obscene moan coming off of my lips. He grabs my thighs and half carries and drags me back to bed.

My breaths were heaving as he dropped me on the bed. I shivered at the way he was regarding me with unbridled lust. I've never felt more vulnerable and so desired in my life.

"Seb..."

He doesn't say anything, rather, he pulls me towards the edge of the bed and then raises my leg up. He then starts trailing kisses from the pads of my toes up until the juncture in my thighs, purposefully missing my dripping cunt. I moan wantonly, my impatience slowly taking the best of me. 

"I told you," kiss. "I," kiss. "Will take my time," kiss. "With you," he sucks on the inside of my thigh before gently putting it down. I hold my breath as he blows kisses on my still covered core and found it amazing I was keeping up with him despite my desperation for release.

A finger grazes the wet spot in my panty and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from whimpering loudly. Finally, to my relief somewhat, Sebastian tugs my underwear down and starts with kitten licks on my very wet folds.

"Oh god, yes..." I draw out a gasp of relief. My eyes shut tight, hands find purchase on the duvet under me as Sebastian furiously worked my sopping cunt. Praises and encouragement of the filthy kind flood out of my mouth and this seemed to egg Seb on as I could hear him moaning lowly over my folds, the vibrations of his voice tickling my own bundle of nerves as well. I feel the low embers in my belly flare up to a burning fire once more. As if he could sense it, Sebastian sticks two fingers inside my walls and works on my clit next, licking the tip before sucking it hard. No matter how hard I tried to suppress my moans, the magic of his fingers and mouth working in tandem has me begging desperately for him to take me to the edge.

" _Mmmmnnnnggghhhh…baby I wanna come, mgonna mgonna...oh SEB_!!!"

The orgasm hit me like a violent crash, sending me careening towards the edge of a cliff without warning. I let myself fall freely over the edge, knowing someone will be there to catch me. I could feel Sebastian still milking my release dry until I had to gently push his head away from my throbbing pussy. That didn't mean I was still a shaky, jerky mess as he kissed his way back up to my lips. 

"Mmmm...so good for me, Y/N, sweetheart. Always so good," Sebastian says proudly over my ear. He sucks love bites on my shoulder, selecting spots that I could easily hide. "Got another one for me?" 

Before I could even think of an answer, he inserts three fingers inside my still sensitive walls and there wasn't anything I could do but jerk my torso, my breasts pushing against his chest. He hums satisfactorily at my reaction while pumping his fingers rapidly. Not before long, I was a writhing, pleading mess underneath him, wanting to tip off the edge once again.

" _...need you...now....p-p-please...oh god, please.."_

 _"Christ...I need you too, Y/N...so bad_!" 

I definitely felt his need as his fingers pulled out abruptly followed by his cock slamming into me in one powerful stroke. We both stifled our needy groans over each other's shoulders, our breaths heaving as our bodies get reacquainted with each other.

"You feel amazing, baby..." Sebastian whispers heavily.

I could only breathe out a 'yes' in response. It feels like the first time once more, only this time, I have the perfect partner, the one that was made exactly for me. I grab the back of Sebastian's head and tell him to start moving. He gladly obliges and he starts thrusting back and forth, slowly at first then growing into speedy pushes and pulls that has both of us panting and moaning together. 

In the midst of all the emotions swirling inside me--one that caught me off guard was the sadness that I felt of not feeling the way Sebastian was making me feel at the moment. Like a tornado raging out of nowhere it hit me, and I couldn't help a tear or two from falling from my eyes.

He sees this and he stops, genuine worry furrowing his brows.

"Y/N, sweetheart, what is it? Am I hurting you? Baby..."

I sniffle and I let him gently swipe the tears from my cheek. "I'm sorry, I just...I haven't..."

Realization dawns on Sebastian's eyes and he gives me a serene smile, despite our position being quite the opposite.

"Really?" he asks in wonder. "There hasn't been anyone...since that trip?"

"No," I responded, my voice sounding shaky. "I could never bring myself to be with anyone else." 

My instincts told me to be embarrassed but his eyes brim with tears at my admission. He kisses all over my face before he starts moving once again inside me and soon enough we were both chasing each other's release.

"Come on, Y/N, I wanna feel you come all over my cock," Sebastian grunts as my insides clench and squeeze his girth. He interlocks our hands on either side of my head as he fixes me his most intense stare yet.

"I'm almost...there...g-god, Seb...sooo good!" I gasp as one particular thrust hits that ultra sensitive spot, the sensation making me all but scream if not for him pressing an urgent, searing kiss on my lips. He lets go of my hands and rests his weight on his knees. One hand grabs both my wrists and pins them over my head while another slithers down my center, flicking my clit and pushing me to another orgasm. 

I could feel his release coming as well, his movements growing more jerky and loose. With one more flick of my clit, I time clenching my insides with one last thrust from him and this sends me into probably the most intense orgasm I've had. Sebastian was with me just seconds after with a loud, drawn out groan that ended with a strained whimper as he continued to jerk and twitch inside me.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N...oh my god," Sebastian gasps out, burying his face on my neck. My brain couldn't form proper sentences, let alone coherent phrases as I was still reeling from the first mind blowing sex I've had in years.

Sebastian gingerly pulls out from me, the action both earning us a groan. I was already missing the feel of him inside me. He gets up and comes back with a warm washcloth, cleaning me up before laying back down beside me. I automatically curl up beside him, the steady thrum of his heart underneath me slowly lulling me to sleep.

Just as I was slipping to dreamland, the baby monitor emits a faint sound. We both strain to hear if it sounds again and it does, Theo calling out for both of us. I push myself up and look up at Seb who has a giddy smile on his face.

"Shall we?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian begins to make amends but a potential shitstorm brews, threatening his newfound family's calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be updating every 200 hits from now on...as usual, thanks for reading this story!

Instead of spending the last week of his filming break back in his place in New York, Sebastian decides better to spend it with us in Sudbury. He was the epitome of doting dad, taking and picking up Theo from school, taking him to the park, walking our dog Western in the early evening and the whole nine yards.

Theo was over the moon when Seb told him he'd spend the rest of his break with us. He'd tell everyone he met everywhere how Seb is his dad with the biggest grin on his face. I couldn't help but grin at him as well when he'd tell me stories.

We lived in our own bubble for the next three weeks, doing anything and everything like a normal family would. Sebastian loved the normalcy, the routine of daily life.

We were lounging on the couch one Friday night when Theo blurted out a question Seb and I wasn't prepared for.

"Dad?" he asks. Seb straightens to look at our boy seated beside him.

"Yeah?"

"Are you staying here with me and mommy?"

Seb darts a look at me and I couldn't help the worried look in my eyes as well. Theo looks between us, a hopeful expression in his cherub-like face. Seb and I speak at the same time. 

"Theo, baby..."

"Sweetheart..."

Sebastian gets up off the couch and picks Theo up. "Come on, let's get you to bed, huh?" Our child's face falls a little but nonetheless he reaches up so his dad can carry him. Theo wraps his arms around Sebastian's neck. He looks back at me and gives me a somewhat reassuring gaze before heading upstairs to put Theo to bed. I mouth to him I'll see him back in my room.

I try to concentrate on the book I was reading but I couldn't; Theo's question had effectively bothered me. There's also the question of Seb being photographed with our son. I'm surprised nothing has surfaced yet, but I tell myself that's another issue for another time. 

The door creaks open after about half an hour, Seb coming in with a tired smile. He goes to the bathroom to clean up and joins me in the bed after another five minutes. I put the book down I was reading on the bedside and scoot closer to him. He kisses my crown and I look up to him expectantly.

"What did you tell him?" I ask. "Is he alright?"

He sighs heavily and puffs out a huge breath. "I reassured him that staying with you both was something that I wanted the most. But if there was someone to make that decision, it had to be you."

"Me?"

"Sweetheart, I know we've been working out our issues and I'm really happy you've taken me back."

I sigh as well. "I feel a 'but' coming."

"I'm sorry," he says contritely as he takes my hand. "I just don't want us making a decision without thoroughly thinking about it. Look what happened the last time."

Sebastian was right. These last few weeks have been nothing short of amazing, and it doesn't necessarily mean that it'll translate well long term. I have rooted myself and my son here in Boston and Sebastian has his in New York. There's also his job that takes him away for stretches of time, something I know for a fact Theo's young mind wouldn't be able to handle right now. He's gotten so attached to him in a few short weeks, how will we be able to explain to him what happens when Seb goes back to Atlanta? Or when he goes away for any project for that matter? 

"Hey, hey, you're gone in your head again," Sebastian coaxes me back to him and I find myself wrapping my arms around his torso, my head leaning on his shoulder.

"I don't know what to do," I admit to him fearfully. "All I know is how heartbroken Theo will be when you leave and that's something I don't wanna think about right now."

"Just him?"

I look back up at him and furrow my brows. His lips turn up into a smirk and I realize what he was asking. My hand on his chest smacks him.

"You idiot, of course I'm gonna be a fucking mess too when you leave. Do I really have to say that out loud?"

He takes the hand I hit him with and twine it with his. "Just checking. But kidding aside, we have to have something to tell Theo before I leave. I don't want him thinking I don't wanna be with you guys when I just found him. And I just got you back."

  
Just as I suspected, Theo was a wailing, crying mess the day Seb had to leave for Atlanta. It took everything in me not to cry as he sobbed in his dad's arms, holding on to him like a lifeline.

"Sssshhhhh...it's going to be okay, buddy. I'm not gonna be away for long. I'm coming back for you and mom. I promise," he whispers soothingly in his ear as he hugged him back. I was stroking his back, trying to get him to calm down as well.

"Take me with you daddy, I promise I'll be good! I promise!"

"Then who's gonna take care of mom while I'm away?" Seb asks. Theo momentarily lets go and looks at him questioningly. He then turns his gaze on me and I give him a sad smile.

"Listen, son, I have a mission for you, alright? Look at me," Sebastian beckons Theo back to him, my boy looking determined as he listened to his father.

"You know how I'm supposed to take care of both of you, right?" Theo nods. Sebastian looks up at me for a moment and gives me a reassuring smile. I nod and make my way back to my room for a last check of his things. Satisfied everything was in order, I check downstairs and see father and son still engaged in an intense conversation. I put my phone out and zoom in to them before taking a snap. I was absent-mindedly halfway through creating an Instagram post when I realized what I was doing.

"Oh shit!" I whisper furiously and delete the draft. Just then, my email app dings, signalling a new message received.

It was a blank message with only a folder attachment named **For Y/N**. I scan it first for viruses before opening it, curious to see what's inside.

I gasp in horror to find the folder with hundreds and hundreds of pictures of Sebastian, Theo and I out and about in Sudbury as well as pictures of us inside my house. A text message then comes in from a masked number:

_3 million dollars or you and your bastard child will be exposed to the internet in three days._

My hands start shaking violently while my vision slowly swims in and out of focus as if the room was swirling around me. I could vaguely hear the sounds of my son and Sebastian laughing just before my vision blacked out.

  
"Dad, mom won't wake up, why wouldn't she wake up?" I groan a little before trying to open my eyes to the sound of Theo's voice pleading for me to wake up.

"Somebody's a little too squeaky," I fake whisper. Theo launches himself at me in a hug and I let out an 'oomph' in surprise.

"Don't scare me like that again, mom!" Theo releases himself from me and fixes me a stern glare. I chuckle and get up from the bed and find Sebastian as well, sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me with a mix of worry and relief. He scoots up to me and kisses my forehead.

"Shouldn't you be outta here?" I ask but then realize what just happened and stopped myself from saying things further. I smile sheepishly before remembering what happened.

"Where's my phone, Seb?" I ask, trying to keep the panic bubbling up again inside me. Just as he was about to answer, the door rings downstairs. He calls on Theo to let him know Carly has arrived. I frown at him in question. 

"I'll tell you later, right now, I need our son to stay with family." I whisper a soft 'ok' under my breath and sink back down to bed. Theo kisses me goodbye before they leave.

Sebastian is back after a few minutes with my phone in his hand. He gives it to me and looks at me with a mix of worry and anger.

"Seb..."

"I saw the pictures, Y/N," his shoulders slump before burying his face in his hands. "Fuck!"

I rise from my place in the bed and hug him from behind, hooking my arms under his shoulders so I could place my hands over his chest. I could feel the rapid beat of his heart and I realize just how anxious and angry he was about the situation.

"Relax," I whisper over his shoulder before kissing him there. He tilts his head to the side and holds my hands in both of his. "Ironic that it comes from the one who suffers from panic attacks, but...it is what it is, Sebastian."

He sighs deeply, still not saying anything. I tighten my hold on him and nuzzle my cheek on his back. "I just...I need you here, okay? All of you. We're gonna get past this together. We have to do it for Theo. There's no one else that matters other than your son."

"Okay," he whispers. "For Theo."

The three of us fly to New York that same evening to meet with Sebastian's team. We decided to bring Theo with us despite the potential attention. He'd been so distraught by the thought of Seb leaving that we thought it best not to aggravate his emotions any further by having him with us.

We are met by his assistant, Janna and had her drive us back to Sebastian's apartment. She was initially shocked to find that the rumored Chris Evans love child was actually his boss', but having known me for a few years now, she wasn't surprised.

"You know, I didn't think Seb would grow the balls to pursue you, Y/N," she muses. Seb pinches her nose, making me laugh. "What? You dated other women! Which I thought was dumb by the way." She looks at me at the back and winks at me.

"Please shut the hell up, Jan," Sebastian says exasperatedly. He looks at me apologetically. I just grin at him.

We finally reached his place and got settled in for the night. Theo thankfully, hadn't woken up even after landing and Seb insisted he tuck him in the guest bedroom. I also insisted on joining him, the two of us now standing by the door watching him sleep peacefully.

"I'm scared, Y/N," Sebastian tells me and I can definitely hear the fear in his voice. "I want to protect him...and you and I just...I don't know what to do!"

"Look," I take his hand. "For whatever it's worth, I'm fucking terrified too. It's our family they're threatening here. I don't know what to do either, but at least I got you now with me."

Not a single second was wasted the following day, Seb's people asked us to meet them at a nearby hotel and we got down to business right away. His manager reassured us the photos hadn't leaked out yet and his publicist's main concern is to soften the blow of the reveal on our child as much as possible.

No one reprimanded Sebastian or I about the clandestine child, instead focusing on what could be done so as to ensure that at the end of the day, Theo's privacy and normal upbringing would still be ensured.

"How about you break the news yourselves?" Janna asks while we were having lunch. We decided to return to Sebastian's place to also be able to check up on Theo. He seems to be oblivious to the adults around him, having found his dad's stash of Winter Soldier toys. I absent-mindedly scruff his head as Sebastian and I share a look.

"Like...a post on social media?" she presses further. I think about it and gauge Sebastian's reaction.

"Seb, babe..." I implore him. "Jan may be on to something."

Sebastian just looks at Theo thoughtfully and the longer he doesn't say anything, the more anxious I become.

"I hate this," he finally mutters angrily low enough for us to hear. "This is all my fault. Had I not been..."

I look at Janna and nod at her to take Theo back to the guestroom. As soon as I was sure they're out of earshot, I immediately take the place beside Sebastian.

"No one's at fault, baby. Now's not the time to blame anyone or anything for what happened. Shit happens, and besides, it was just a suggestion," I tell him, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.

Turns out it was what his team was thinking about as well, just that they couldn't bring it up considering Sebastian's recent comments about being on social media. We didn't decide on anything yet but at the very least promised we'd both think about it.

"Hey you," I nudge his shoulder gently as I took my place beside him on the bed. Sebastian seemed to be engrossed in the book he was reading. Something about finding one's daemon, I think. I file it away for the time being, but I will borrow it from him later on.

I nudge him again and he budges this time, setting the book on his bedside before focusing on me. I smile at him and he tilts my chin up to give me a kiss.

"What was that for? Not that I mind, but...just curious," I inquire.

"Haaahhhh..," he sighs and rests his head on the headboard. "I'm still not sure about the whole social media reveal thing. I'm thinking, fuck it, let the asshole dump it on the net, see if we care. But I can't do that to Theo. Argh."

An idea suddenly springs into my head. I take my phone off the wireless charger, get out of bed and pull Seb with me to where our son was sleeping.

"Y/N, baby, what are you--"

I gingerly open the door so as not to wake Theo up and then push Seb to stand in the doorway and lean against it. I could see his shoulders relax and could almost see him smiling at his mini-me's sleeping form. He looks back at me and he is definitely smiling, but I can see the question in his eyes.

"Go on, get inside, you should know by now he sleeps like you, like a log in winter," I say with a smirk.

"Alright, alright...I still don't know what you're trying to do here."

I come up to his side and tug him to face me. "Do you trust me?" He nods vigorously. He kisses my forehead before I playfully push him towards his son's sleeping form. He finally sits beside Theo, running a hand over his head and that's when I snap the picture. Seb then looks back at me and I take another one.

We were back in his room and were looking at the pictures.

"So we're doing this then?"

"I don't see any other way, Seb. If we don't, then everybody will come for us. This way, at least, I hope, it gets us some semblance of control. We can ask your fans and the media to keep their distance, as I'm sure they would."

He shoots a text message to his publicist, Roxanne, to let her know what we wanted to do. She was over by the apartment in minutes.

Roxanne looks over the pictures, smiling at them. She looks up to us with a little sadness in her eyes.

"He's really a beautiful kid, and though this is part of the job, it's still a little disheartening that something like this has to happen. These pictures are good, I'll leave everything up to you both, after all, you're his parents."

Sebastian sighs heavily after Roxanne left and I hug him again from behind. Words were unspoken as we sat on the couch. He pulled out his phone and began composing an Instagram post.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for the delay! Had some technical issues that annoyed the shit out of me that I couldn't figure out.
> 
> Anyway, the picture is supposed to be an Instagram post to start the chapter so...you guys can imagine that, right? I really tried, but I couldn't figure it out!
> 
> Anyway, again, apologies for the delay, but here is the next one!

**imsebastianstan** _I don't know where to begin with this post other than to say that I am doing this to protect the people I love. Ten years ago I met the woman who would change my life literally and figuratively. Suffice it to say that I am madly in love with her. Because of that, five years ago, I got her pregnant and the boy you see in the photo is her, or should I say, OUR son._

_I rarely talk about my personal life at length and I appreciate you for understanding my reasons in doing so. I appeal for that same understanding now as this will be the only statement I will have regarding this matter. Thank you for always being the best fucking fans._

_*comments are turned off for this post*_

Sebastian's post quickly goes viral within minutes and both our phones blow up with calls and texts from friends and family. One particular call we weren't able to ignore was from his mother, Georgeta. He talked to her first and judging from his expressions, she wasn't happy finding out about her first grandchild via social media. I held his hand and gave it reassuring squeezes as he spoke to his mom.

After one last exhale and a hard hand over his head, the call ends. Sebastian's shoulders tense just as Theo bounces towards us. His face contorts in confusion upon seeing his dad's face.

"Are you okay, dad?"

Sebastian smiles but Theo doesn't seem convinced.

"I'm okay, it's just that my mom is a little mad at me," he says in response.

"When mom is mad at me, I say sorry for what I did wrong and promise not to do it again. I also don't ask for Cheerios for two days and just eat whatever she gives me for breakfast," he says proudly. 

My eyes widen in surprise when I realize what my son said as I recalled the times when I'd scold him. He was actually punishing himself even after reassuring him I wasn't mad at him, just unhappy with whatever he did. 

"Oh honey, come here," I reach out for him and press my lips over his forehead, letting it linger for a few more seconds. "Mom and Dad are so proud of you."

  
  


Sebastian was asked by Marvel to come back on set a few days after he posted about our son. Theo was a mess once again but promised to be good for his dad until they see each other again.

"This will never not suck," Sebastian tells me as we stand by the doorway. He had both arms wrapped around me while mine were looped around his neck. I pull him down for a slow, indulgent kiss that has us both catching our breaths.

"Call us as soon as you can, OK?" He nods before closing the gap once again for another toe curling kiss. He nods and Janna clears her throat behind us.

"We gotta go, Seb, car's just arrived."

"Love you," I tell him.

"I love you," he says to me. After a last kiss, Seb and Janna were out the door. I sigh as I close it behind me and pad my way over to where Theo was. We decided to end the week in Sebastian's place and fly back on the weekend. A few of his friends had wanted to meet us and I think Will and Jessica will be swinging by tomorrow morning to take us out for breakfast.

I slouched on the chaise and mapped out what I was to do for the day. I closed my eyes and started to nap when Theo called out for me, jerking me up and off the couch.

"Look mom," Theo called me over as he looked out the window. "Bye bye Daddy, take care!" He whispers softly while he waves at the car as it sped away. When he turns around, his eyes were brimming with tears.

"You miss dad already huh?"

He nods. He's trying not to cry but his lips tremble and curl down. I sit on the bed and pat the space for him to sit.

"C'mere, you," I extend an arm around him and he wraps himself around it while his arms curl around my middle.

"Can daddy just stay with us? Why does he have to go?"

"Well," I take a breath. "Here's the thing. When dad leaves, it's just for work. What he does is the same thing that uncle Chris and Scott does."

"But they don't have kids like dad has me so they're okay right?"

I chuckle lightly. "That is...true. What's also true is that daddy's job would always require him to go places. What you just need to remember is that he will never stop thinking about and missing you when he's away. Just like you're always thinking about him, like right now. And besides," I hug him tighter to me. "I'm right here too, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbles. "You miss dad too when he's gone right, just like I do?"

"Of course," I say emphatically. "I miss him just as much."

We spent the rest of the day indoors, I didn't want to go out and risk being photographed. The post just got out three days ago and though I have my social media profiles private and New York a far quieter place in terms of paparazzi activity, I didn't want to risk it.

We got to New York on a Friday and decided to fly back to Boston on a Wednesday, 2 days after Sebastian left for Atlanta, thinking that it would be a safe day to be out without being noticed.

As the doorman to the apartment building ushered us out, a small group of photographers, no more than five were already waiting for me and my son.

"Oh shit," Henry, the doorman cursed under his breath. "Miss Y/N, please go back, there are people outside."

"What?!" I nearly exclaim. Theo holds on to my jacket when he hears me. He calls out to me softly and looks at me with those big, blue grey eyes of his.

"It's okay sweetie, we'll just need to wait a bit, okay? Henry will help us," I tell my son reassuringly and pull him up so I could carry him to the waiting area. After five minutes, Henry comes back.

"Miss, I am so sorry for the inconvenience, it seemed the cab driver who dropped you off when you arrived unknowingly tipped off the people outside of your whereabouts, we'll need to take you to the back exit, the cab that will bring you to the airport will be waiting there," he explains while taking our luggage. I attempt to help, but he just smiles apologetically at me.

"Thank you," I say to him. "You just met us and we have inconvenienced you already."

"It's nothing, Miss. Mr. Stan has been one of our longest tenants and he's been one of the nicest people to stay here. I don't mind helping his family one bit, it's my absolute pleasure."

We finally manage to get out of the building and on the road within fifteen minutes. The ride to the airport was no longer than 20 thankfully, still allowing us time to go through all pre-boarding checks without rushing.

I slump to the seat when we finish. Theo sat close beside me and when he looked at me, his eyes were dark with worry.

"Honey, what is it?"

Just as he was about to answer, my phone buzzes in my jacket pocket. Sebastian's face lights up my screen but my insides were churning with worry. I answer it right away.

"Y/N! Are you guys alright? Baby--"

"We're fine Seb, we're at the airport now just waiting to board."

"Is that daddy?" Theo asks. I nod and tell Seb I'm giving the phone to him. I let them talk for a few minutes and observe my child. He would occasionally nod his head and mumble out his responses. I could see his shoulders relax as he spoke to his dad and am amazed at how much he already looks up to him despite knowing him for only about a month. If Sebastian were to ask me to move in now I would have said yes in a heartbeat.

Theo gives me back my phone and curls himself on my side.

"Hey," I say a bit tiredly.

"Y/N, I'm sorry I wasn't there. Henry called the building manager who then called Leslie. She told me what happened and I just---fuck.." I could tell he was fighting the urge to scream out in anger as I listened to the frustration in his voice.

"Hey, stop that. We're fine, okay? No harm done and we both know this was gonna happen. Thanks for talking to Theo, he's calmer now. He was really scared Seb."

"That's what I'm pissed about! I don't want him to...I just--he--"

"Sebastian...he's fine. Sure we have to figure some things out, but Theo will be okay, I promise. He's now got both his mom and dad to protect him. When's your next break? Will you be able to come to us or should we come to you?"

He sighs on the other line and I could hear someone trying to call him on the background. He must be on set.

"Y/N, sweetheart..I--"

I tried to stifle a frown and imagined being in his shoes at the moment. "Look, it's okay, we can just talk about this later, alright? You gotta get back and we have a flight to get on to. Let me know when I can call okay?"

"Alright, I will. I'm really sorry, Y/N, I am. Let's talk later. I love you, kiss Theo for me."

"I will. I love you too," I end the call with a sigh. Theo looks at me curiously for a second and resumes watching his favorite cartoons.

  
  


Later turned out to be another 2 more days. I didn't know what to think when my phone finally rang and saw his face on the screen so I didn’t say anything at first after picking it up.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah, I'm here...took you long enough," I mumble the last few words lowly thinking he wouldn't hear. Sebastian seemed to think about what to say next, I could hear him breathing heavily on the line.

"Y/N, I--"

Silence.

"What the hell is it, Sebastian?!" I said a little angrily. "I waited up for you all night when we got back and nothing! I thought you were busy but busy non-stop for two days without even a measly text?! I didn't know what to do!"

Oh. So I am angry, I thought to myself. Did I have the right to? I shuck the thought away and waited for Sebastian to respond.

"Fuck," he says softly but it felt like it was more directed towards himself. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time, I was gone five days and we had to film---shit, you know what? That's not good enough. I screwed up, and I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. I should have called. Forgive me?"

I let out another sigh and run my hand over my head. I shouldn't have overreacted but we were in a precarious situation, having just revealed our son to the public. I was at a loss at what to do, what to expect and him not being there to guide me, to reassure me, even if it's just over the phone is cutting me up to pieces.

"Seb I---I'm sorry for snapping at you like that...it's just..I'm a little scared and lost here. I know we both made the decision about Theo but without you guiding me, I'm a little lost babe..."

"I know, I know...I can't stop worrying about you and Theo. Rox told me the attention hasn't gone away and with the paps showing up at my place, she suggested that I move out of the apartment in SoHo and find a new place."

"That's a little drastic, don't you think?" I ask, feeling slightly responsible that it was because of us that he was being asked to do so.

Sebastian sighs. "The lease is gonna be up before Christmas anyway and it'll take me a few more weeks before I can start looking at places what with the holidays and all. Not to mention press for The Last Full Measure. As for moving itself, I don't have that much stuff, all of what I have can be put into storage in the meantime."

"Seb...you're not saying what I think I'm saying?!"

"I'm not asking just because it's convenient, Y/N. I'm asking because it's what I'm supposed to do. I need you and Theo and you just basically told me the same thing earlier. Maybe it's time we give living together a shot?"

I was at a loss for words. This was all suddenly becoming too real and too rapid for me. For a long time it had only been me and Theo and now Sebastian's come back and everything seemed to have gone haywire.

"Are you sure?" is what I manage to squeak out after holding my breath.

"Only if you are 100% comfortable with it."

A sigh of relief comes out, at least he's not pressuring me for an answer right away.

"Can I think about it?" I inquire.

"Take all the time you need."

I sought help from the one person who has guided me all these years. Losing my own family was hard, but Lisa and the rest of her family took me in and treated me as her own.

I sat on the steps of the Concord amphitheater, just listening to the faint sounds of kids singing interspersed with the quiet noise of human activity around me. I look around and take a deep breath, calming me as I waited for Lisa.

Not long after, kids started rushing out of the wooden double doors. The person I was waiting for sat beside me after all the kids have gone.

"Hi," I greet her and lean in for a hug. We both grunt at the effort, laughing about it after we separate.

"Ah, aging," Lisa muses. I stand up and help her do the same. "Coffee?" she inquires. I nod and offer my elbow for her to curl her hand around and we start walking.

"So..how are things with Sebastian?" Lisa asks after a few minutes of silent walking.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Things are good, the Insta reveal notwithstanding of course. He's been so wonderful with Theodore and he adores his father so much."

"Why do I feel like somethin' else is coming?"

Lisa looks at me with concern. I tried to smile but my lips seemed to only curl upward that doesn't resemble even a grin.

We reach the coffee shop but Lisa pulls me to sit before ordering. "Honey, you wouldn't be asking time with me if it's something that's not bothering you. You're like my child too. Tell me."

"Sebastian wants to try and live with me and Theo. After the post, some photographers found his place and his manager suggested he move. His lease is gonna be up before Christmas and he wants to stay here until he can have time to sort out his living arrangements."

"Alright," Lisa gets up. "I'm gonna order and then I'll tell you what I think. Your usual?" I nod and slump back in my seat while she approaches the counter. I sit there idly until she comes back with our drinks. I attempt another smile to show my gratitude and it finally connects, Lisa smiling back at me.

"I'm just a little unsure, like, I feel things are moving a little too fast...," I blurt out. Lisa looks at me thoughtfully.

"Does it really matter?" she asks. "From what I can gather, things are headed that way anyway. Why wait?"

"But--"

"Y/N sweetie, you've already been through the worst. If you're truly giving Sebastian a chance, this would probably be the most appropriate one to allow him to show you how he wants to make up for everything he missed."

We talk for about an hour until I received a call from Theo's kindergarten teacher asking me to come down to the hospital. Lisa drives me as fast as she could while I sat there a bumbling mess of worry about what could have happened to my son.

We were met by Elise, Theo's teacher at the emergency room. She opens a curtain and I see my son sitting up with a bandage on the right side of his forehead.

"Oh my god, Theo!" I rush up to him and hug him tight to me. I look back at Elise. "What in the world happened?!"

"Y/N..." Lisa put a hand on my shoulder. "Elise, you better start telling Theodore's mother why he has a gash on his forehead." 

"I am so sorry, Ms. Y/L/N. We were talking about parents in class earlier and Theo happily shared about you and how he had recently found his father. I thought everything was fine when we went for recess but when I got back, he was being pushed by one of the kids. He was pushed one last time and that's when he hit his head on the wall," the teacher explains and I could sense her fear and worry about the situation. I knew what I had to ask next but was afraid to find out the answer. 

Lisa asked it for me instead. "What were the kids bullying Theo about?" 

"They were telling him--they were..."

"Goddamnit Elise just say it!" I couldn't help it anymore and when I Iooked down, Theo's eyes were brimming with tears. "I'm so sorry honey, mommy's not mad at you, okay? I just want to know, what were the other kids telling you?"

"They said...they said that daddy doesn't really love me and--and he's only using us...it's not true mom, right? Daddy would never do that!" It was at this point Theo sobs in my arms. I look helplessly at Lisa and she takes it upon herself to talk to the teacher.

I run my hands over Theo's head and settle on his cheeks. Wiping the tears with the pads of my thumb, I spoke to him.

"Remember when daddy let you feel the beating of his heart?" he nods. "Do you remember as well what he said about it?"

"Yeah, he said that it beats for you and for me."

"Exactly," I say firmly. "Your dad loves you more than his own life, just like how I love you, okay? Don't listen to what other people say. You just listen to your own heart. What does it tell you?"

He hiccups but manages to speak to me still. "I love my daddy so much! He's a good person!"

"Okay good," I tell him and try to keep my voice steady. "Come here," I pull him to me again and he hugs me tight like a lifeline he wasn't willing to let go.

We stay two more days at the hospital just to ensure Theo passes the concussion protocol and his pedia gives us the go-signal. Chris and Scott visit us on the 1st night followed by Carly and Shanna.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N! What the hell happened?!" Chris fumes as soon as he sees Theo sleeping in the bed. Scott comes up to my other side and gives me a hug.

"Yeah, ma told us the cliffsnotes..kids bullying Theo about Sebastian?!"

I tell them the entire story and by the time I finished, Scott looked like he was ready to punch someone in the face and Chris...well, his stoic face may fool me, but his eyes were something else.

"Have you talked to the parents yet?" he asks, his voice deadly calm. I shake my head. "Have you told Seb yet?" he presses further. I again shake my head, slower this time. He looks at Theo and when he returns his gaze on mine, I almost wanted to shiver with the intensity of his blue eyes regarding me. I debate whether to acquiesce to him or not but in the end, I agree to Chris' silent plea.

His phone rings a few times before he picks it up. He seems to be in a rush to or from something when he answers, his breath coming in short bursts.

"Y/N, baby, what's up? Sorry, I just got back from set," he says as greeting.

"Seb, something's happened."

The phone call lasted no more than 10 minutes with Sebastian promising to jump on the first flight right after our conversation. He was nearly stumbling as he entered Theo's hospital room nearly five hours later, looking frantically worried.

I was just getting towed away by sleep when he arrived. I jolted from the couch and was in his arms as soon as I realized it was him.

"Oh Seb," I whisper tearfully as I sink into his embrace. "I was so worried. I'm so sorry to--to---"

I trail off, not really sure what to apologize for. All I knew was that somehow I was at fault why my son got hurt.

"Hey, ssshhh...it's okay, it's okay, alright? You've nothing to apologize for," he breaks off from me and cups my face in his hands before pulling me to him again and giving me a kiss. I pull him to sit and tell him everything that happened. He seemed visibly distraught afterwards.

"He didn't fight back?" Sebastian asked, a weak but proud smile forming on his lips. 

"No," I say with a shake of my head. "He said you told him to just keep calm and not encourage bullies by fighting back. Said you taught him a few defense tricks but that the other kid was just too big for him."

Sebastian sighs as if in relief before standing up and approaching Theo's sleeping form. He takes the space beside him on the bed and kisses his forehead gently. Theo stirs, flutters his eyes open and when he realizes his father is beside him, starts sobbing again as he reaches for him.

"Oh buddy," Sebastian coos and lays beside our son. "You're alright, I'm here now okay? Mom told me what happened and you did real good. I'm so proud of you."

"But they were saying bad things about you dad!" Theo says in between sobs. Sebastian looks to me and I just nod at him and trust his instincts. I point to the door outside and mouth to him I'll bring him coffee when I get back. I take my time and return about 20 minutes after. I find my man and son both asleep, Theo's head resting on Sebastian's chest.

I couldn't find it in me to wake Sebastian up and so I settle back on the couch, setting the coffee aside and tried to take a nap myself.

I woke up to a pair of blue-grey eyes staring at me.

"Theo...honey why are you..." I say groggily. The rest of the face swims into clear view and I realize it was Sebastian staring at me.

"Hi, you."

His low, lazy voice tempts me to close my eyes and sleep further.

"Mmmmm, keep talking, I wanna sleep some more," I mumble and he chuckles before taking my hand.

"Come on, get up," he pulls me and I reluctantly oblige. Theo walks up to me so I sit straight up and open up my arms to him with a huge smile.

He skips the rest of the way to me and jumps up to my arms. I grunt in satisfaction as he hugs me tight.

"Uuuuunnnhhhh I love it when you hug me," I slightly pull away and turn my gaze to Seb. "Isn't he just the _greatest_ hugger there is, dad?" I then look back at Theo. 

Sebastian nods enthusiastically. 

"I am!" Theo agrees and then extends his right arm over to Sebastian. He hugs us both as he tells us how much he loves us.

"I have the best mom and dad in the world and no one will tell me differently!" Sebastian and I giggle and hug Theo closer to us.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8 is here...just a couple more to go! Sorry I've been bad at updating. Thank you for staying with me on this one! ❤️

Chris volunteers to take us home after Theo clears the protocols. He and Sebastian were currently catching up in front while Theo and I were seated at the back.

"Does it still hurt, baby?" I graze his bandaged forehead lightly. I try to assess if he feels any distress and so far there seems to be none. Theo shakes his head slightly.

"Well..sometimes, if I laugh too hard or jump a lot," he says nonchalantly. I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Theodore...promise to tell me when it does even when you're sitting still, okay?"

"Okay, promise!" he says enthusiastically and I nod.

Chris stays the entire day all the way to dinner, taking advantage of one of the rare days he gets to catch Sebastian in town. I just was coming back to join them as I had to put Theo to sleep despite his protests that he wants to hang with us.

I take the place by Sebastian's side. His arm automatically wraps around my shoulder before kissing the side of my head. Chris watches us intently across from us where he's seated. I could feel myself blush from his gaze.

"What?" Sebastian and I say at the same time. Chris laughs heartily at this. He then raises his hands in mock surrender while still laughing. 

"Nothing, nothing," he finally says. "I just...while you both are inevitably destined to be together, it just feels a little surreal that it's finally happened. My two best friends. I'm gonna have a hard time deciding whether to walk Y/N down the aisle or stand beside Seb as best man..." 

Sebastian suddenly stiffens beside me and it was immediately noticeable something had shifted in the air. Even I felt too warm all of a sudden, wiggling out of his hold as slowly as I could. This of course doesn't escape Chris' sharp senses.

"Oh shit," he mutters. "I'm sorry you guys--I didn’t mean to...I fucked up huh?"

Sebastian says something I couldn't understand and was back inside in seconds. I look helplessly at Chris who immediately sits beside me and puts an arm around me.

"I'm so sorry, the last thing I want is to both make you feel uncomfortable, you know that, right?"

I nod. "I know...I honestly don't know what I feel anyway. Guess you just made it all too real. You do know he wants to stay here with us, right?"

"He did tell me. He was pretty pumped about it too," Chris responds. "Well, I better go check up on him and apologize, I'll probably head back home too. I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay," I say and give him a hug. "Thanks for today. Love ya."

"Love you too. And whatever happens, talk to him, ok?"

I nod at him again and watch him as he disappears inside the house. I lay back on the recliner and sigh out loud. The recollection of what had happened the last few days hits me and I found myself quietly sobbing alone. My indecision about letting Sebastian stay with us, Theo getting bullied in school...it was overwhelming. I haven't dealt with these types of things before and I fear the stress might just wear me out. I didn’t want to, there's so much more that's coming. These were just the tip of the iceberg. Now that the world knows not just about my relationship with Sebastian but that that relationship produced a child, who knows what worse things will be flung my and Theo's way.

I willed myself to stop crying, wiped my face with the backs of my hands and got up to head to bed. I had to put my woman pants back on and toughen up just like when I had to do so when I went through being pregnant alone. I need to be strong, not just for myself but for my son.

I didn't find Chris and Sebastian in the living room and did not bother checking outside. I made my way up, got cleaned and dressed up for bed and laid down on my side facing the edge. Closing my eyes, I fell into a restless sleep in minutes.

I got woken up by a flutter of faint, barely there kisses on my nape, slithering to the side of my neck. It almost doesn't register to me that it's still dark outside, the lips gently pressing on my skin taking all of my attention to the point where it was the only thing my mind could focus on. My eyes lazily flutter open and a gasp sounds off of me when the pair of lips suck on my pulse point. I could feel the smug smirk curl the lips up before hovering over my ear.

"Oops," Sebastian drawls. "Did I wake you?"

His voice feels like a bucket of cold water over my face, making me jerk up from where I was laying down. I almost hit him in the head by the suddenness of my action, but as the events of last night breeze through my memory, I could care less.

"Whoa, Y/N...is everything alright?" Sebastian asks, his voice slightly pained and disappointed. I was a panting and nervous mess as I sat up with my back to him, unsure of what to tell him. I don't say anything for about a minute.

"Y/N, if this is about earlier..."

My shoulders stiffen. "You're damn right it is," I snap back. "You confuse the hell out of me, Sebastian. What do you really want from me? From us?"

I tilt my head sideways and I can see through my peripheral that he's struggling with what to tell me. I ignore his internal tussle and kept talking.

"In the hospital, seeing how you were with Theo, I thought, 'god if he asked me to move with us I'd have said yes in a heartbeat'. Then Chris brings up marriage talk and yeah, I know we've only been together a month, but did you really have to fucking cower away from me like that?! Do you realize how insecure that made me? Do you know how embarrassing that is?!

I'm not expecting you to propose or anything like that, that's just...there's a lot of stuff going on right now and-and--I - we--Theo should be our main priority right now. You and I...there's just so much we still need to work on. But-but you have to tell me what you need from me. I know and I've let you know what Theo and I need from you and you've done a wonderful job..."

I finally turn around to face him only to find him looking down and dejected.

"But you have to be clear with me Seb, I can't just sit here and watch you give me mixed signals."

He remains silent, his usually light eyes a shade darker as he seemed to struggle with whatever it was he had on his mind.

"That's the thing, Y/N. I want everything. All those years without you felt like I was just aimlessly drifting and acting was the only thing keeping me sane and grounded. I thought that was enough. But you come storming back in my life, with my kid, no less and suddenly all the things I thought I wouldn't have became possible--unconditional love, a family--things that I knew would fill the gaping hole I'd been so desperate to fill."

"When Chris talked about marriage, I just...it wasn't...it scared the fuck out of me, Y/N."

"Why?" I dared to ask.

"...because it's the only thing that's been on my mind ever since we got together a month ago."

I gasped. This was not what I was expecting.

"Why do you think I asked if I can stay here? I know it's too early for us to live together, but honestly, Y/N, I don't see myself with anyone else but you. Hell, the other girlfriends didn't work out because I kept wishing it was you."

"Sebastian..."

"I'm sorry, for springing all this on you. I know we have to deal with what happened to Theo, but I just...since Chris brought it up, I had to come clean with you. I saw how hurt you were, and I wouldn't blame you if you still are, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you and only you. I am so sorry if I made you feel otherwise."

I kept my distance from him, in shock and awe at how much deeper his feelings were for me. Here I was agonizing about when I can see him again and all this time he was already thinking about spending the rest of his life with me.

Sebastian senses my hesitation and reaches out for my hand. I look at it and it amazes me how comfortable it feels, how it just feels...right.

"Seb...I'm sorry, I...I don't know what to say right now. But...thank you for clearing things up. It's a lot to take in, just give me time, okay?"

He nods. "For you, I can wait for as long as you need me to."

  
  


"So...you got pissed when you thought he was reacting negatively about marrying you but when he told you he _did_ want to, you're the one that has to think about it?"

Chris was back in my house after driving Sebastian to the airport, one hand on his waist as he regarded me curiously after basically recalling my conversation with Sebastian last night. My head dropped to the kitchen counter, realizing my stupidity.

"Unnnggghhhhh," I moaned in frustration. "You really have to say it like that, do you?"

When he doesn't respond, I lift my head up and see him looking at me with one raised eyebrow as if to say, 'really?'

"Ugh, I don't like you right now," I grunt out and get up from my seat. "Besides, isn't it too soon for him to be thinking about getting married? We haven't even spent enough time together as boyfriend-girlfriend with his insane schedule and all!"

Again, I don't get a response, just the same look, only more pronounced.

"Right. I'm talking to the guy who asked his last girlfriend to move in a month into dating. Jeez, Chris, you're practically useless right now!"

He just laughs at me before proceeding to grab the wine and 2 glasses. He pours on for both of us before he spoke again.

"One month, one decade, does it really matter these days? You've known each other for what, ten years? Granted the last five there wasn't any contact, but you both are practically the same person, just with more life experiences. I should know because I've seen you both."

I try to say something but my mouth closes shut anyway. There was no arguing that.

"And besides," Chris continues after taking a sip. "If you let him stay here, you'd get to know each other further on a more, should I say, intimate and stripped down level without having to commit long term. Think of it as your trial period with him."

  
  


Sebastian and I never spoke of that night again and for it I was somewhat relieved. We spent Christmas and New Year's with him in NYC where Theo and I finally met with Georgeta. It was a little nerve wracking when she pulled me aside to talk as soon as she arrived, on goddamn Christmas Eve.

"I wanted to be mad at you, if I'm being honest," she begins with a quirk of an eyebrow. Boy, she does not waste time with pretentious pleasantries. I sway on my feet a little to work off some of my nerves.

"But one look at that boy...I realize now that you and I have had a similar journey. I know how hard it is to raise a child without someone else to help. And I also understand why you may have not wanted the help."

"Mrs. Fruhauf, I'm sorry--"

Georgeta glares slightly at me and I recoil at her gaze.

"Don't you dare apologize for something you stood up for. I know I will never do for not wanting Sebastian's father to have anything to do with us," her voice slightly rises, the Romanian accent becoming slightly more prominent.

"Mrs. Fruhauf...I feel like I still need to apologize. Your son, he--he never deserved to be left out of Theo's life. I came to that realization late but I'm trying my best for them to build a relationship just like any father and son would. I mean, it's okay if you're mad at me, I totally get it, I really do."

Her face softens and for the first time I realize how truly beautiful she was inside and out. I can't say if I would have reacted the same way she did, but that didn't stop me from being amazed by her.

"That young boy is blessed to have you as his mother...and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

After the holidays, Georgeta had promised to call so we could talk more, about what, Lord knows I have no idea. I wasn't hesitant at all to give her my number, parts out of fear and anticipation at what we could possibly talk about.

I had just wrapped up with my last virtual client when my phone buzzed. I see a text from Sebastian.

_ hey you...can I call? _

I text him back to tell him it's okay and my phone is ringing in seconds. He smiles as soon as he sees me. I do the same and feel a blush warming my cheeks. What am I, fifteen?

"Hi," he says.

"Hi, what's up?"

He shakes his head and grins sheepishly. "Nothing, I just have a couple of hours until my next meeting and thought I'd call the gorgeous mother of my equally handsome son."

"Is that so?"

"Very much so," Sebastian says confidently. "What are you doing?"

"Not much, I just finished my last client call for the day and I'm just waiting for Theo to come home from school."

Sebastian shifts in his seat, pausing for a bit before asking me another question.

"Baby..have you thought of home schooling Theo?" 

"Home school?" Sebastian nods. 

"I just...after what happened at his school I, uh, I don't know, I just worry about him a lot. I know you do too and being his mom, I can't imagine how much worse it is for you." 

And as usual, he's right. The anxiety I feel everytime he walks out the door shoots through the roof. If I wasn't so busy with my home based job I would just be a bursting bubble of nerves every single day.

Just as I was about to respond, Carly comes in with a sleeping Theo in her arms. I quickly tell Sebastian to hold while I jump and come up to her. She shakes her head and lets me take my son from her.

"What happened?" I ask, trying to keep the worry off my voice.

Carly sits and asks me to do the same. "Lucky coincidence I was passing by his school earlier. I found him sitting on the steps by himself, just after the school bus left. I immediately got to him and he was crying quietly."

"Why?" 

"He said he didn't want to ride the bus anymore because the other kids were still saying bad things about Sebastian."

"Oh god," I mumble angrily.

"I know, it's terrible. He was so distraught by it and all he could ask for was to just go home and see his dad."

I sigh and take her hand. "Thanks for bringing him home. I really appreciate it."

"No problem. I just am glad I passed by when I did."

I wait for her to leave and pick the phone back up again, thankful Sebastian was still on the line.

"You heard all that, didn't you?" I put him on speaker so I can still talk while holding on to Theo. 

"Y/N...I'm sorry..."

"What for?"

"It seems like everything is going to shit ever since I came for you and Theo. And everytime something happens, I'm not there," he says the last bit with a little force, as if he's stifling his anger.

My chest clenches for Sebastian but I'm also a little at a loss on what to say to him or do. I can't just ask him to pack up his life and play house with us. That would just be too selfish.

But then again, anything I ask of him for our child's sake will never be selfish.

"Sebastian..."

I could practically sense his nerves seeping through the phone.

"Y-yeah?"

"I think I'm ready to have that 'moving in together' talk now."

  
  


The next few weeks flew by so fast and Theo and I found ourselves waiting for Sebastian at the airport. He no longer had a place in New York and I agreed that it would be best for now if he stays with us here in Boston.

Theo was jumping behind the fence, his impatience growing every minute that passes he doesn't see his father. I had to pick him up to calm him down.

"What's taking dad so long mom?" he whines as he then cranes his neck to see over the new throng of people coming out. I playfully scoff at him and plant a wet kiss on his cheek.

"Ew mom!" he whines again and I laugh. I crane my neck and finally see Sebastian wearing a navy blue cap, white shirt under a navy blue bomber jacket. He finishes the nondescript look with faded blue jeans and his trusty old white Chucks. How he manages to look so good in plain clothes still amazes me.

"Look mom, there's dad! DAD!" Theo exclaims causing the others waiting with us to look in our direction. In the near distance, Sebastian looks up and his face brightens up at the sight of us grinning at him.

Theo wriggles out of my hold and runs to his father, jumping in his outstretched arms. He lets out a grunt but smiles anyway.

"Good lord, what's mom been feeding you huh? You're so big, buddy!" I finally approach them and lean forward so I could give him a kiss.

"Hi gorgeous," Sebastian whispers before closing our gap to kiss me again.

"Hello you," I say back before I tug on his suitcase as we made our way out of the waiting area. "How was your flight?"

"It was alright. I got out of there as soon as the last interview was done. I need to give Janna a raise. She's a freaking magician."

I chuckle. We make small talk until we reach the parking lot. Sebastian insists on driving at first but I scold him and tell him he needs to rest. When Theo pouts at him, I give him the side eye and smirk.

"Alright fine," he relents and laughs. "Jeez, tag teaming on me huh?"

We get home just before it got dark out with Theo already passed out in the back. Sebastian and I share a knowing smile before getting out of the car.

"Go," I tell him. "Take him up to his room, I can take your suitcase." He quirks an eyebrow at me and I give him a glare. He raises his hands in mock surrender and acquiesces to me.

"You're so hot when you boss me around," he whispers huskily over my ear. It sends shivers in my body and before I can respond, he's opening the car door to get Theo inside the house.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just one more after this! Can't believe I'm finishing another story and finishing my first multi chapter here!
> 
> Anyway, some sexy time here! As always, leave kudos and/or comments if you liked it! Much love y'all!

With a tired smile, I finish unpacking the last of Sebastian's things inside the closet. I stare at his things hanging beside mine and couldn't believe I agreed to let him live with us indefinitely. Theo obviously is over the moon and me? Well, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm feeling about the whole thing.

I shut the closet doors with a heavy sigh. I then turn around and find Sebastian leaning by the doorframe regarding me with a curious look. When I give him a small smile, he pushes himself off and walks towards me. He tucks a stray lock of hair that's escaped my bun before wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You okay?" he asks.

I begin to shake my head and look at him through hooded eyes, slightly embarrassed by the way my thoughts are running through my head.

"Talk to me, Y/N."

"Seb I--," I begin to say. He waits for me to continue.

"I know we already talked about this but it just feels...shit, I honestly don't know what to feel. I'd do anything to make Theo happy and you being here makes him happy and yet..."

"...you're scared that this might be taken away from you and you feel like you need to keep your guard up," he says matter of factly.

"Listen to me," he tilts my chin up so I could look at him straight in the eye. "The future can be a scary thought. But we're here in the now and all we need to do is focus on what's in front of us *now*. You're here, I'm here, our son is here and that's all that really matters to me. If I lived every single day in fear then I wouldn't have fought my way to you."

"You asked me what I needed from you," he continues and places his hand over my left chest. "You and Theo. That's all I need. If I have you both I'm already happy and content. Everything else that comes after would be a nice bonus."

A single tear falls from my eye and Sebastian gingerly swipes it with his thumb.

"I'm assuming that's happy tears, Y/N."

"Of course it is," I chuckle shakily. "You don't know how long I've dreamt of hearing you say that to me. Thank you."

"Anything for you," he says before cupping my neck and pulling me for a kiss that's got me weak in the knees. I moan as his hands begin their descent down my back before settling on my behind. Sebastian gives them a firm squeeze, earning him another moan from me.

"I've missed this ass," he whispers as his lips move on to my neck, alternating between nipping and kissing on my pulse point. I tilt my neck to give him better access, as I latch on to his head to guide him where I want him to. "Do you know how many nights I've jacked myself off to you while I was away?"

It's as this point he sucks on the juncture between my neck and shoulder, the action sending shivers down my spine.

"Mmmm baby," I moan out and remember that I could use my hands as well. I slither them forward to his abs, skimming the tips of my fingers over them. He hisses at the feel of them before I tug on the bottom of his shirt to let him know I want it off. He complies by pulling it from behind and dropping it on the floor. I do the same and his breath hitches at the sight of me without a bra on. I reach behind my head to remove the scrunchie holding my hair up, shaking it out, making my dark locks fall like waves behind me. 

"Fuck, Y/N," he breathes out as he looks at me in awe. "So fucking beautiful."

"Says the cover boy of Men's Health," I retort playfully. "I get wet just by looking at all the outtakes you sent me. I should probably send Don and Carter a gift of thanks."

His eyes widen for a split second at what I just said. I take his momentary distraction and pull him back to smash my lips onto his. He lets out a small whimper of surprise but nonetheless returns the favor by sucking on my lower lip.

Somewhere in our heated necking and petting he was able to get me to bed and finish getting me naked in the process. I could feel the heat of his gaze as his eyes lazily roamed all over my naked form. Despite being naked in front of him numerous times already, I couldn't help but blush under the intensity of his blue grey eyes. I try to avert his attention by touching his bare torso. I could feel his chest pounding.

"Sebastian...are you actually nervous?" I ask in disbelief. It was his turn to blush. 

"Every time I see you like this..."

"Baby...," I cup his neck with both my hands to pull him down to kiss him again. He whimpers softly and moans as I nibble and tease his tongue before lightly sucking on his tongue. This takes him by surprise and I take advantage of it by snaking my hand down and grasping for his hardened erection. I experiment with a few slow strokes until he was pushing his boxers away, finally leaving us both bare against each other.

"Five years, Y/N...five years since our first, and you still manage to make my heart race every time I'm about to make love to you," he whispers it with such awe. "I'm so happy it's finally you and only you.."

Sebastian kisses me indulgently before his lips journey all over my body, paying reverent attention to each patch of skin he knows would make me gasp in pleasure, moan in want and whimper in need. I could feel the wetness drip off of my quivering pussy grow as he inches closer to where I agonizingly need him.

"I got you, sweetheart...I'm gonna give you all you want.."

My stomach quivers as his kisses become sloppier while alternating them with kitten licks of his tongue. By the time he reaches the patch of skin just above my pussy, my entire body was shaking with need. I could feel tears falling on the side of my eyes as my desperation overtook every other emotion I had at that moment.

" _God p-p-please Seb_..." I shakily said as my hands found his head, giving it a slight push so his lips could finally graze my cunt. He hums in response as he immediately sucks on my clit, making me arch my back sharply off the bed. God, I could lose myself in his mouth on me. He smirks as he continues paying lavish attention to my sex, licking and sucking like a man starved but still wanting to savor each taste.

"Fuck baby, yes, yes, yes," I mewl helplessly as he laps me up until I start feeling my belly contract, an obvious tell my release is coming.

I start bucking my hips on his face to aid my need but Sebastian would have none of it by pressing his hand flat on my belly to keep me down. He momentarily stops and looks up at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"You're so needy, Y/N...tell me," he breathes over my pussy while pinning me with his stare. The arousal that I felt grew tenfold at the sight of his lust blown eyes and his glistening day old stubble as a result of his relentless assault on my sex.

"Tell me what you need now, Y/N," he growls quietly.

"I-I...I want to cum...so _bad_ , Sebastian, please," I respond with a shaky voice. "I need the release baby...you gotta--"

All the rest of what I wanted to say got lost on my throat when he dove back to my wetness with a renewed aggressiveness to satisfy my plea. As if I wasn't feeling wound up enough, he inserts two fingers inside my walls out of nowhere. The guttural moan that came out of my mouth felt foreign as was the way I gripped on the duvet under me.

"Go on, let me hear you," Sebastian murmurs and I momentarily wonder how hard he must be while driving me off the wall with his enchanted fingers and tongue. His fingers pump in and out with the same unrelenting force, adding a third for good measure. I couldn't stop moaning and chanting his name as he took me closer to the edge. He sucks on my clit one last time, timing it with the pump of his fingers and stretching the middle so that it touched the most sensitive part of my sex.

" _Cum_ ," he commands and the coil twisting hard in my belly snapped, my body convulsing and arching off the bed as my orgasm tore through me in violent waves. The scream I let out again felt foreign to my ears and the only thing that's still registering in my lust addled brain is the sensations brought about by Sebastian's mouth and fingers on me. 

The concept of time was lost on me as well, not really caring how long or how quick Sebastian brought me to my release. I had to gently push his head away from my pussy though as I grew oversensitive to the stimulations he was still continuing to provide. I still kept jerking lightly even as he kissed his way back up to my lips.

"Earth to Y/N?" he murmurs over my ear and sucks lightly on the lobe before kissing and sucking on the crook where my neck met my shoulder. "You back with me yet?"

I let out a lazy, blissed out chuckle before opening my eyes to find him hovering over me, a self satisfied smirk on his face.

"If only I could tell the world how truly talented that mouth is," is what I say first. "Your fangirls would go crazy."

"Well that's one talent I'd like to keep between the two of us, thank you very much," he responds before ducking down to kiss me again. "Just like how I want to be the only one to pull out those sounds from you. Got me so hard I had to count sheep so I wouldn't blow my load when you came."

"Well we wouldn't want that now, would we?" I said alluringly and slid my hand down to his still cloth covered member. He hissed hard and shut his eyes tight I thought his eyelids would tear.

"Mmmmfuck, babe, d-don't..," he says, his voice clipped and pained.

"Take it off, I need you inside me now," I command him and he immediately complies by pushing himself off of me. He removes his boxers in one swift motion and my mouth salivates as the sight of his hardened shaft greets my vision, standing up proudly, the tip almost purple with pre-cum seeping out. I almost wanted to feel bad that he had to suffer through that while giving me the best head of my life.

"Jesus Christ, Seb," I gasp out. "I want to be sorry but...god, you're a fucking vision naked. C'mere," I beckon him back down to me and he obliges, kissing me hard once again. The tip of his erection grazes my still wet pussy and we groaned in unison against each other's mouths at the contact.

"I can't hold out any longer, Y/N, please..."

I cup his cheek with one hand while grabbing his cock with the other to guide it inside me, my slick making it easier for him to slide inside. Despite it, I still let out a small gasp at the intrusion. No matter how many times we have sex, his thickness never fails to astonish me. The way his eyes widened as he pushed into me told me he felt the same.

"Aah," I let out in between sharp bursts of breath. "Oh god, Seb, oh god.."

His head drops on the crook of my neck once he's sheathed all the way in. "Fuck, Y/N, y-y-you feel like...heaven..oh god!"

He starts moving slowly, savoring each pass with pleasured grunts and heavy breaths. I cross my ankles just above the dip of his lower back but he curls his arms under my knees instead to push them forward, making me open up to him more so he could thrust all the way in. It lets him hit my g-spot effectively with each push. I realize this wasn't going to last and I didn't mind.

His thrusts start growing sloppy and uncoordinated as his breathing became erratic and uneven. I could feel myself rising again to the peak and knew Sebastian's release would be intense as well. He releases one leg of mine so he can toy with my clit again, determined to make him come with me at the same time. I whimper as the sensations overtake me once again and surrender to him.

"I'm not gonna--oh shit, Y/N, baby m'not gonna last--OH FUCK!"

Sebastian's orgasm hits as he stills over me while ropes and ropes of his cum paint my walls. This triggers my second orgasm, my hands finding purchase in his neck, gripping it so his face was buried in the crook of mine. He pants as his cock continues to twitch inside me while my walls also convulse against him. My name sounded like a prayer as he kept chanting it over my skin until his breathing got even. He pulls out of me eventually and lies on his back beside me with a satisfied, drawn out groan.

I close my eyes with a smile as I felt the bed move. After a few moments, I could feel a warm washcloth over my thighs and my pussy. The bed dips on my side and I open my eyes to find Sebastian staring at me as he lay on his side. I turn so I could face him. His fingers immediately fly up to my arms, running it up and down with the tips. I shiver for a bit before relaxing once more and smiling at him.

"You never fail to amaze me," he finally says after a few moments of comfortable silence. "If I haven't told you today yet, I love you."

My breath slightly hitches as his bright blue eyes stare into mine. A multitude of emotions come at me all at once, but they all point to one single thing.

"Yeah, I love you too."

The sun was already high up when I woke the following morning. I frown, thinking that I never wake up later than 7 am. When I turned to check my bedside clock I groaned, it was nearing 9 in the morning already.

I gingerly got up from bed, the previous night's activities catching up on my body. I felt sore down there while my legs felt like they were jello. I had to sit up straight for a few minutes just to make sure my feet and legs were steady enough for me to stand on. I could hear faint voices of laughter outside as the smell of pancakes and avocado wafted in the air. I immediately dressed and got cleaned up to check up on what Sebastian and Theo might be up to.

I tiptoed quietly to the kitchen to find the pair in a fit of laughter over a silly looking pancake. On one end of the kitchen counter were two plates which had a good serving of bacon, pancakes and avocado toast. Sebastian wasn't kidding when he said he was an avid fan of breakfast food.

He slides the pancake onto Theo's plate before turning the stove off. He's got him on one arm and when they turned around, I was met with a pair of identical looking grins. They smiled even wider when they saw me standing on the threshold. Theo wiggles out of Sebastian's hold to run up to me.

"Morning mom! Dad made us breakfast!" he says enthusiastically before tugging my hand and pulling me to the kitchen counter. I take one of the stools where the other two plates were. Sebastian walks over to me and tilts my chin up to give me a kiss. He stares into my eyes before pulling away.

"Good morning, beautiful," he murmurs softly before kissing me again. 

"Good morning indeed," I say as he pulls away. I rest my elbows on the smooth granite counter while he grabs Theo and places him on the counter and slides his plate to him. "This looks good," I compliment him. "I think you should have breakfast duties from here on out."

He winks at me as he takes a seat. "You think so?"

I return his wink and nod. "Hmm, let's see, what do you think baby?" I turn to Theo who has just dug into his funny looking pancake and was chewing with gusto. He downs it with the glass of milk in front of him and nods vigorously.

We finish breakfast amidst easy conversation and laughter. Everything felt easy and effortless, like Sebastian had been with us since Theo's birth. At the back of my mind, a nagging voice was beginning to come to the surface but I squash it down. I've never felt happier and more content in my life than right now and I'll be damned if anything or anyone would ruin that for me.

Scott dropped by an hour later with Miles in tow, asking if he could take Theo out to the park.

"Oh hey Sebastian! Didn't know you arrived already!" he reaches out to hug him. Sebastian claps his shoulder before answering.

"Yeah, I got in yesterday, got filming done way earlier than schedule."

I take Theo to his room to get him changed, leaving the two men to catch up.

"Mom?" Theo calls out to me while I was putting things on his backpack.

"Yeah, honey?"

"Will dad be staying with us for good?" he asks. I stop what I was doing and turn my attention to him. He was looking at me with a hopeful expression. "Are you letting him, mom?"

I sit beside him and pull him so I can kiss the top of his head. "I think he wants to. He doesn't have a house in New York anymore and I don't know if he wants to look for another one there. If he wants to stay here with us for good, I don't have a problem with it."

"Really?" his eyes widen.

"Of course, he's your father and well, he and I..we're in a good place now so, yeah, I would love it if he chose to stay."

Theo hugs me and whispers a 'thank you' while looking up at me with those bright blue grey eyes of his. It only reaffirmed my decision to let Sebastian stay with us.

I postponed meeting up with potential tutors for Theo so Sebastian and I could take advantage of being alone while he was out. We were currently lounging in the living room; Sebastian seated while I was lying on my back, my head resting on his thighs. He was playing mindlessly with my hair as I scrolled through my phone.

"I wore you out last night, didn't I?" Sebastian asks. I could feel my face blush and let out a giggle. I did still feel a little sore in some places below my waist.

"Well, it was of the good kind so I don't really mind.."

He bows down to kiss me and I purr in contentment after he pulls away. "Last night was...amazing. You are amazing."

"Glad you think so, sweetheart. So are you."

We give each other smiles before settling into a comfortable lull of silence once more. I stop scrolling on my phone after a few minutes and put it face down on the coffee table.

"So Theo had a question for me earlier this morning...," I began, albeit a little tentatively.

"What?" he asks me curiously.

"He asked me if you were staying. For good," I respond. I start to feel a little nervous as my hands started clamming up. I averted my gaze from him as I fidgeted with the hem of my oversized shirt out of nerves.

"Y/N...do you _want_ me to?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and got up so I can sit up to face him directly. "It's a big decision, Seb. You have roots in New York, you've been there all your life. Would you really give it up to be here in boring, suburban, Sudbury with me and Theo?"

He stops and just gazes at me thoughtfully. The small bundle of nerves I had began to grow more as the seconds pass by that he doesn't answer me.

"Honestly? I haven't stopped thinking about it since December. I haven't looked at places to move to and all my stuff are in storage," he tells me honestly. I swallow a lump in my throat, hating that I couldn't get a read on what he's thinking right this moment.

"New York has been my home all my life, you're right about that. But when I met you, my notion of home began to shift. I always feel calmest when I'm with you, whatever the situation is. I mean, just your voice can help me focus, you know?"

I slowly nod, understanding what he meant. He does it for me too.

"At this point, I don't really care where I'm at. If you and Theo are with me, that's...god, I'm gonna be a total fluffball for saying this, but you two are home for me. And if you want to stay here in Boston, I'll be more than happy to be here with you both."

I clear my throat before responding to him. "So..you're-you're...staying?"

"Like I said, sweetheart, that decision is yours to make," he says simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I cup my hand over my mouth while stifling the tears threatening to fall. "Oh my god, Sebastian," I gasp out before launching myself onto him for a hug. "God, yes, yes, I want you to stay, don't ever ever leave, please."

He chuckles and hugs me tighter. "Okay, okay. Thank you, thank you so much!"

The next few weeks were spent by getting his stuff flown in from Brooklyn and redecorating the house to accommodate some of his furniture to fit in the house. The guest room I had been using as my office was redesigned as well for both of us to be able to utilize the space. Some of his stuff that he no longer needed were either sold online or given to friends. Janna was over the moon when Sebastian decided to give her the infamous couch that Mackie had talked about last year.

It was good timing too, the house needed a major overhaul as well, the last time it was redone was when I was ten. Sebastian and I had a tiny bit of a fight as to who pays for the renovation, despite it being out of budget, I felt like I had to be the one to pay since the house is in my name.

"But Seb this is my house--"

"I know, I know, this is yours and you feel responsible for its upkeep, but sweetheart, look," he beckons towards the stripped down walls. "All of this is happening because you agreed to let me move here. I don't want you dipping into your savings for something of my own doing. That's your money, and that's for more important stuff for Theo."

I didn't put up much of a fight when he mentioned Theo because I know he's right. I guess I'm gonna have to start getting used to him being able to spend on things whenever he wants to.

"Alright, I'm sorry. Okay, you take care of the renovation," I tell him with a reassuring smile. He puts an arm around me before kissing the side of my head.

"Good, thank you for letting me. From now on, you don't have to start worrying about finances too much. Think of it as part of me taking care of you and our son."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last one for this story! Can't thank you enough for staying with me through this. I got another one coming up so keep your eyes peeled!

We had to stay at Chris' while the house was being redone. He practically begged for us to, especially since he had a bit of downtime in his hands. The weekends were spent hanging out with us, sometimes the family was there, other times it would be our friends since we were kids.

Theo was beside himself when it finally sank in him that Sebastian was well and truly staying with us for good. I noticed how Sebastian's quiet and calm nature had begun rubbing off on him. His shoulders weren't tense anymore and he was beginning to be a more self reassured kid. Like he knew what he wanted and was never afraid to ask for it. I was awestruck at how a lot has changed in him in just a few short months.

"Dad?"

Sebastian looks up to Theo from his phone. "Yeah, bud?"

"My birthday is coming..." he trailed off before looking up to me as well. I slightly raise an eyebrow at him, as we've already talked about what he wanted to ask his father for his birthday. I purposely didn't tell Sebastian as I wanted Theo to do it himself. 

"Indeed," he says matter of factly. "What does my best boy want?"

"Well..." he fidgets for a bit before closing his eyes and exhaling a big breath. "Can we go to...to Disneyland?"

Sebastian grins and beckons for his son to sit on his lap. "Of course, we can, if that's what you want!"

Theo smiled so widely I thought my chest would burst. I took Sebastian's hand and gave it a grateful squeeze.

"Why did Theo seem reluctant about asking for what he wanted for his birthday?" Sebastian asked me later that night while we were prepping for bed.

"Well he first asked me to ask you for him," I say as I began combing my hair. "I told him that if it's something he wanted, he should be the one asking himself. He whined a little but I think he understood."

He nods in understanding himself. He seems to ponder another question and his expression did not go past me.

"You have another question," I say as I set my brush down and took his place beside the bed.

"I was just wondering, how come he's never been to Disneyland? I thought Chris would've taken him already..."

"Oh," I respond, with a tinge of sadness in my voice. "Um, Chris did offer to take him last year for his birthday as well."

"And?"

I look down on my clasped hands, recalling Theo's response to Chris. I sniffle before gathering my thoughts. Sebastian takes my hand.

"What did Theo say?" he asks me again, gently this time.

"He thanked Chris, bless his heart, but he said he wanted his first time there to be with his dad...with you," I manage to choke out as a few stray tears escaped my eyes. I chance a look up at him and he was regarding me with a glassy stare as well.

"He said that?" I nod. "God, at five?" He muses with awe in his voice. 

"I told you, he's so much wiser than his age. I don't know how, but he's just...I can't explain..."

We were able to book a five day long stay with Sebastian deciding to go all out for our son's first time in the theme park.

Theo couldn't contain his excitement on the day we were set to leave. He was up earlier than we were and was jumping on the edge of our bed, waking both of us up with annoyed groans. He plopped face down between me and Sebastian and all the reprimands about to come out of my mouth was replaced with a fond smile as he pulled us both for a hug.

"Come on mom, dad," he groans muffled by the duvet. "Wake uuuuuuupppppp!" Sebastian peeks at me with one eye closed and I just quirk an eyebrow at him. He smirks before tickling Theo's sides, making him giggle and turn around so he was laying on his back instead. Sebastian doesn't stop though, forcing Theo to curl on his dad's side to grab on his wrists.

"Dad stop!" he says in between giggles. "Mom help me!"

I sit up and watch as Sebastian continues tickling our son for a few more minutes, stopping when he notices Theo's breaths grow shorter. He gets up and pulls our still giggly son with him.

"Why'd you wake us up early huh?" Sebastian asks, feigning ignorance. Theo looks at him in disbelief before looking at me and then looking back at his dad.

"Daaaaaaddddddddd..." he whines. "We're going to Disneyland, remember?"

"Oh, are we?" Sebastian asks with furrowed brows as he tapped his chin. "D'you know about this trip, mom?"

"A trip?" I gasp over dramatically complete with a hand over my chest and gaping mouth. "No one told me about a trip, dad. My, my...

Theo starts to pout at us before we both broke into huge grins and kiss both his cheeks. He slaps our thighs after we broke off as his face breaks into a smile.

"Alright, alright," I pat his back. "You've clearly woken us up now young man, up, up."

Sebastian gets off the bed and opens up his arms for Theo to jump in, the action causing them to nearly stumble but he has quicker reflexes and steadies himself with a grunt. "Come on, big guy, let's get you ready, yeah?" Theo nods and they were off the room

I plop back down to bed with a shit eating grin on my face. This is my life now, I thought to myself, a damn good one, if I may say so. I kept expecting the fear of all of it being taken away creep up to me, but nothing comes. Instead, a sense of confidence and security reassures me that this is the life I was meant to have.

"All good?" I ask as two pairs of identical blue grey eyes look up to me. "Theo, have you double checked your backpack?" He nods. "Sebastian, what time does the service arrive?"

"Mom's so bossy," Sebastian whispers to Theo before looking up at me again. "About five more minutes, ma'am."

He teasingly drawls out the last word as if how Bucky Barnes would say it. I was about to say something back when his phone rings. Excusing himself, he gets up and heads to the kitchen to take the call. His voice suddenly goes quiet for some reason, making me furrow my brows slightly. Thankfully, Theo was currently preoccupied with doodling on the drawing pad Sebastian bought for him to notice my tiny distress.

We were now standing in line at the airport waiting to get ourselves checked in. A few people came up to Sebastian for pictures but he had to politely decline as Theo was with him and he wouldn't let his dad go.

"People will no doubt post about this on socials," I tell him. He just shrugs and readjusts a sleeping Theo in his arms. 

"You know how I feel about it," he says before leaning closer to my ear. "I don't give a flying fuck."

I giggle at his words. These days, I realized, I also couldn't care less about what people say.

"Very well said, Mr. Stan. Good thing your son's asleep. Anyway," I say as we move forward in the line. "Who were you talking to earlier? You know, before we left?"

"Oh um, that?" he visibly looks nervous all of a sudden. He clears his throat lightly and I start feeling something is off. "That...was uh, a wrong number. Kept calling so I had to tell 'em off."

"Wrong number, huh," I say more to myself but of course he could hear. I force myself not to make a thing out of probably nothing and calm myself down. I turn around and watch as another group of teenage girls come up to us only for Sebastian to turn them down again, focusing on that instead of the burgeoning thoughts in my mind. 

True enough, stolen pictures and videos of us at the airport were on Instagram hours later with a lot of mixed reaction about Sebastian declining to take photos or even to just talk and say hi. One particular comment made me want to punch someone so bad.

_*Sebastian seemed...IDK, weird when we saw him at the airport in Boston, like...he wouldn't look at any of us as if we didn't exist! What the hell is wrong with him? Don't get me wrong, I love him to death but ever since he revealed he had a kid and girlfriend he just...he doesn't seem to be the Sebastian we know*_

"What the hell..." I mutter to myself as I sat down at the chaise by the window of our hotel room. Sebastian must have heard me and was crouched in front of me, his arms resting on my thighs as he looked up at me curiously.

"What's gotten you annoyed?" he asks. I show him my phone and he reads for a little bit before smiling wryly. "They're getting to you huh?" I nod slowly alongside my measured breaths. 

He pries the phone out of my hand and locks it before setting it beside me. Taking both my hands, he kisses them gingerly before returning his gaze to me.

"They only see what they want to see. I told you all that matters to me is you and Theo. My truest self is only reserved for the closest people to me. I love my fans, I do and I owe them a ton, but at the end of the day, I come home to you, and you know me. The real me. I've made my peace with people judging me. My family's opinion is the only thing that matters, and that's you and our son."

I recall a similar incident with Chris just right after the 1st Cap movie came out and he basically told me the same thing. I found myself nodding again in agreement with Sebastian.

  
The next day, it was our turn to wake Theo unceremoniously early in the day. I had a specially made cake for him. Even Sebastian's jaw fell on the floor when he saw it.

"What the...," Sebastian gasped. The cake was a replica of the train set he had gifted Theo on Christmas. Even I was in disbelief at how it looked like exactly like the real thing. 

"I know...I wasn't expecting it to look this amazing!" 

  
Sebastian carefully opened the door to our room, peeking first before letting me in. Theo was still asleep and so we walked in and sat on both sides of the bed.

"Hey birthday boy," Sebastian whispers in Theo's ear. He shakes him a little until he starts stirring and turning around to lay on his back. "Wake up..."

His eyes slowly flutter open and I take it as cue to present the cake in front of him. He rubs his eyes a bit before it widens when he realizes what I was holding up. Sebastian and I sing 'Happy Birthday' as he sits up while his face lights up in the biggest smile.

"Happy birthday dear Theo...happy birthday to you!" 

Sebastian rubs his back and beckons for the cake. "Make a wish, baby," he whispers. Theo closes his eyes but opens it again.

"I don't have any other wish really," he says simply. "I have my mommy and my daddy with me now!" He then blows the candle and kisses both our cheeks before plopping back down to bed with a grin.

I've been to Disneyland several times with the Evans before, mostly with Chris and I loved every minute of it.

But I didn’t know how much more magical it was seeing the theme park through my son's eyes. I almost wanted to cry the first time the three of us set foot on the park, Mickey, Minnie and Buzz welcoming us as we arrived. Sebastian had Theo up on his shoulders while we walked around as we decided on how to go about with the rides we wanna try and places we wanted to go to.

It felt like I was seeing and experiencing everything for the first time once more. Like I was ten again. It was all kinds of wonderful, magical and amazing.

It took us three days to explore everything around the park. We were lucky enough to have been afforded with a tour guide at the last minute as one of the managers at the hotel recognized me as Chris Evans' former PA. Said Chris and the rest of the family were some of their most favorite guests ever for being so down to earth and easy to work with. 

We let Theo sleep in during our last day as we weren't flying until the evening back to Boston. When I woke though, Sebastian was nowhere in sight. I frowned in confusion, as he would usually be the one to wake me. Making sure Theo's still comfortably tucked in, I got up and put on a robe to try and find my seemingly wayward boyfriend.

I do find him by the balcony talking hushedly on the phone with someone again. I tiptoe a little closer to eavesdrop on the conversation. I felt a little rotten about it, but I couldn't help the nagging feeling creeping up on me again. 

"Yeah, I know, I know! Thank God we were busy the last couple of days. Just make sure everything's good alright? Text you later," he says before ending the call. I run as quietly and quickly as I could back to the living room, pretending to just be walking in on him.

"Hey you," I say as he turns around, smiling widely upon seeing me. I'm wrapped in his arms immediately and kissed breathlessly right away.

"Good morning," Sebastian whispers over my lips, his lazy blues staring right at my amber ones. "Theo still asleep?" I nod. 

"He was thoroughly worn out yesterday," I respond. He lets go of my waist but keeps one hand in mine to lead me back to the balcony. I lean over the railing and he cages me from behind before nuzzling his chin on my shoulder. I sigh in contentment while we look over the view of the park. 

"Did you have fun this week?" he asks. His lips then touch the curve of my neck and I shiver at the contact before responding to him. 

"I did. Seeing Theo enjoy Disneyland gave me a whole new perspective. Thank you for making his wish come true."

"You know I'd do anything for him...for both of you," he says quietly, but I could definitely hear the sincerity and determination in his words.

"I know...," I say before trailing off. "You never cease to amaze me."

"You and Theo make it easy for me." 

  
Theo wakes up around mid morning, immediately demanding pancakes to which we gladly oblige him with. We eat in comfortable silence when Sebastian mentions his plans for the afternoon.   
  
"We're staying one more night, dad?" Theo asks in disbelief. 

"I wanted to see the fireworks one last time!" he tells us with a smirk. He then winks at me before standing up and kisses me and Theo in our foreheads. 

"Where are you going?" I ask with a curious smile. 

"Front desk, I'll arrange for our extra night. Be back in half an hour," he responds before disappearing to our room.

"Couldn't do it over the phone?" I ask him out loud. 

"Nah, I have something for the manager to give too!"

"Oh, okay," I say a little softer. I look at Theo who was now licking his plate clean. I don't hear the door close because of how hard I laughed at how silly he looked.

The rest of the day was spent indoors either napping or just lounging around. All three of us were currently cocooned inside a big fleece blanket, watching an old Mickey Mouse movie while sharing a big tub of popcorn. It was our third movie and by the time it ended, it was already dark outside and Theo had fallen asleep between me and Sebastian.

He makes to move slowly while I undrape the blanket over us so he could take him to our room. Theo doesn't wake even as Sebastian lifted him, only resting his head on his shoulder once he's in his dad's arms. Sebastian pauses to give me a moment to kiss our son goodnight.

"I'll be right back," he whispers to me over Theo's shoulder. He does come back after a few minutes, smiling at me like it's the first time he's seeing me. I furrow my brows but don't say anything until he's seated beside me.

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" I ask with a chuckle.

"Nothing," he says, his voice child-like. "Not my fault you look so good in my shirt."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is so."

His phone then chimes and he begins grinning like the idiot he is before pulling me off the couch. He's then tugging me to the balcony just as the first wave of fireworks blast to the sky. The magnificence of it never ceases to amaze me. I am caged in between Sebastian's arms before he rested his chin on my shoulder.

We stay like that until the spectacle ended with huge grins in both our faces. The castle's lights in the near distance begins dancing and the grin I was sporting morphed into laughter. This was something new.

It stops all of a sudden and a spotlight beams down on the platform in front of it. I squint to see clearly and recognize them as members of Hoobastank, one of my favorite bands. I gasp loudly in shock. It was then they start playing a song I haven't heard in years.

_I'm not a perfect person,_   
_There's many things I wish I didn’t do_

I turn around and find Sebastian standing a few feet away from me, a tentative smile on his face. 

"Sebastian...what--what's going on?" I ask with a shocked smile. 

_But I continue learning,_   
_I never meant to do those things to you_

The song continues playing in the background as Sebastian closes the gap between us again. He doesn't touch me but rather, pulls something out of his pocket.

My hands clamp over my mouth once he opens it to show me a delicately crafted diamond and sapphire ring. My vision starts to blur with tears as he begins to speak. 

"Y/N...I know we didn't start off the usual way. I knew from the get go you were gonna be someone special in my life, but I never realized how special until I thought I lost you. I suddenly found myself questioning why I was still doing the things I did even if I lost motivation for them.

And then it hit me one day. You. You are the reason. I broke when I realized I had lost you and knew that you'd be the only one to make me whole again. 

I don't want to make any promises, but if there's one thing I'd do for the rest of my life, it's to love you even if there aren't any words to say it. Will you let me do that?"

_I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be,_   
_A reason to start over new, and the reason is you_

Sebastian gets down on one knee and presents the ring to me close to my ring finger. I was full on sobbing at this point, too stunned and my heart bursting with so much emotion towards the man looking at me hopefully, like I'm the only woman holding his fate in my hands.

"Yes, yes!" I exclaim through my tears and he huffs in relief as he slips the ring on my finger. I pull him up and cradle his face, kissing him despite my face being a teary, streaky mess. He deepens the kiss as he pulls me closer to him. The fireworks begin again but I don't look and just kept on kissing Sebastian until I needed to breathe.

I rest my forehead on his, closing my eyes to relish the moment. "I love you so much, Sebastian," I tell him.

"And I you, Y/N. Always."

  
We decided to share the news at the same time to both Chris and Georgeta via Facetime. They were both bumbling messes of tears. Seb and his mom continue to converse in Romanian while Chris and I spoke.

"Oh my god, Y/N...I can't--I--fuck, I'm at a loss for words right now. I'm just so fucking happy for you, you know?"

"Thank you, Chris. It means so much to me that you are happy for me. Oh god, I am getting married!" I squeal out in excitement, causing him to laugh on the other end.

"Let me see the ring again," Chris asks. I lay out my hand on the camera and he whistles in awe at my engagement ring.

"I gotta say, he sucks at naming things but choosing that ring...A+ right there, Seabass!" he shouts the last sentence just as Sebastian ends the call with his mom.

"A+ what?" he asks Chris as he joins me on the video chat. I give him a kiss on the cheek before replying.

"Chris likes the ring you chose," I say. My newly minted fiancé smiles proudly.

"Like you said bro, she's special and deserves nothing less."

  
Not much time was wasted when we got back as we dove down for wedding preparations right away. Sebastian was adamant he wanted to make it official as soon as humanly possible.

We were going over flower choices one early Saturday morning when I started feeling extremely dizzy. I had been having mornings waking up nauseous despite a good 8 hour sleep but nothing bad as this. 

"Um yeah, she and Theo are allergic to roses so that's a no," Sebastian tells Amy, the florist when I decided to stand up and excuse myself.

"I'll just go to the john," I said and pushed myself up. A wave of nausea washes over me and I fell back onto the chair, my knees feeling woozy afterwards.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...Y/N, sweetheart, you okay?" Sebastian was immediately crouched at my side, his hands running over my arm. I let out a breath but instead, an overwhelming need to throw up came over me, making me run towards the nearest restroom. I couldn't even be bothered closing the door as I knelt over the toilet bowl and retched everything I ate for breakfast and quite possibly, last night's dinner too.

I didn’t know how long I was there but by the time I had some semblance of myself back, Sebastian had asked Amy to reschedule and was now helping me clean up. 

"Jesus Christ," I mumbled weakly upon seeing my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and my cheeks were so pale as a sheet. Beside me, my fiancé was regarding me with worry.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" he asks tentatively. I reach out for his hand and wrap his arms around my waist. 

"I'm sure it's nothing...wouldn't hurt though, would it?"

  
"Wh-what?" my voice sounded foreign as I looked between the OB who just gave me my test results and Sebastian who's sporting the biggest grin I've seen on him.

"Four weeks pregnant, Y/N. Congratulations!"

I sit there the rest of the way as she gave instructions to Sebastian on how to take care of me and the supplements and vitamins I needed to be on during the rest of my first trimester. I would mechanically nod when addressed but other than that, I was lost in my own mind, still in disbelief that I am pregnant again after six years.

"Hey," Sebastian reaches out and grabs my hand after we get settled in the car. "You okay there?"

I look at his hand in mine before looking up at him. He was giving me a hopeful smile and there was nothing I can do but smile back, even weakly.

"I know somewhere inside you is worrying about this," he begins to tell me. "And you have every right to be. It wasn't a particularly good experience the last time it happened. And that's on me."

"No, Seb...I just..."

He squeezes my hand and shakes his head in protest. He then closes his eyes tight and when he opens them to look at me again, there was only determination in them I could see.

"This is my second chance, Y/N. I won't let you down this time. I'm gonna be right beside you every step of the way. I'm going to make mistakes but I promise you I will never not be by your side through everything that's going to happen."

"Oh Seb...". I whisper in a shaky voice as my throat feels tight because I'm about to cry. Sebastian cups a hand over the side of my face, caressing my cheek gently with his thumb. He then closes the gap between us, planting his lips on mine. It was sweet and reassuring and every negative feeling I had he kissed away, replacing it with a promise of never letting go.

_**One year later** _

"MOM, DAD LOOK!"

Theo's voice rose above the buzzing noise of the people and the waves, making me look up again from the book I was reading. Sebastian was seated beside me, our daughter Georgeta Alaina comfortably perched on his lap.

"Wanna go see what big bro made?" Sebastian asks Ally who babbles out an enthusiastic response. "Come on mom, you know he wouldn't stop calling out to us until we get our asses over there."

I give him a wry smile before putting my book down. We walk over to Theo who was beaming at us proudly over his sand castle. I whip my phone out and take a family selfie.

"This is really good, baby. I think Ally likes it," I tell my son proudly just as Ally clambers out of Sebastian's hold to touch the castle. A strong wave washes towards us, flattening half of it on the shore. Theo laughs but Ally starts wailing.

"S'ok Ally, I'm just gonna make you a better one! Don't cry...," Theo reaches out to her just as Sebastian sits so he can have her sit in front of his brother. Theo takes Ally's hands and play with them and her cries eventually stop.

I didn’t realize I was staring at my children until Sebastian calls me out on it.

"What?" I ask irritably, but my smile covers up my tone.

Sebastian raises his hands in mock surrender and chuckles. "Nothing! I ought to be jealous, but we make beautiful children so I can't really fault you if you stare at them longer than you stare at me."

"Idiot," I say and pinch his nose. In the distance I could faintly hear the snaps of cameras but couldn't find it in me to give even half a shit. We both turn our attention back to our kids again, now both laughing and giggling. Theo now has Ally pressed up on his front, both his arms wrapped around his sister protectively before giving her a kiss at the top of her head.

"If you told me two years ago I'd find myself sitting on the beach, on a honeymoon with you and two gorgeous kids, I'd probably have gone to jail," Sebastian muses.

"Why?" I ask, my forehead creasing in confusion.

"That person would've gotten a thorough beatdown from me for even thinking about a ridiculously stupid idea."

"Oh my god, I did marry the biggest idiot in the world!"

He laughs before taking my hand and kissing the back of it. "Good thing you did, because I'd rather be your idiot than anyone else's."

Sebastian leans over and gives me a lingering kiss, leaving me a flushed, dazed mess. He smirks at me before picking Ally up and beckoning for Theo to join him back on our covered seats. I gain my bearings back when Theo tugs on my hand. He grins at me, his likeness to Sebastian still amazing me at times.

I sigh contentedly as I take my place among my family.

"You okay, mom?" Theo asks. Sebastian looks at me with a smile. I reach out for my baby girl and hoist her up, making her giggle before peppering her face with kisses.

"Better than okay," I tell my son. For the first time in years, I didn't doubt what I was feeling and that feeling of security made me feel warm all over. 


End file.
